We Are All Assanges!

But of course reality goes beyond fiction. Now we are living an unanswerable test. If some writer were to propose a novel recounting exactly the entire WikiLeaks affair, I am sure that the editor would have rejected it for being imaginative, implausible and flatly rubbish: Let’s see, who would have thought that a dozen of digital elves could shake the planet’s most powerful government? How dare they extract 250,000 secret documents like that! Who would have imagined that the entire world would be waiting on each day’s new revelations?

But here you have all of that happening and more. This man named Julian Assange is now subject to the most dog-like hunt, a sort of international plot to destroy him and WikiLeaks. Now he is in jail. At the same time, in the past 15 days, a systematic and ruthless financial siege has taken sway: sponsorship, donation and banking account cancellations in order to crush this bizarre journalistic effort.

But those who feel sure that WikiLeaks is dead commit a serious calculative error: The battle has barely begun. Government and corporate obstruction sure didn’t prevent active global support, and the cybernetic attacks of MasterCard hackers are just an initial warning sign of the big disaster that the Internet could turn into.

As to the two misses, Anna Ardin (hot at [31]) and Sofía Wilen (pretty at [26]), even the most furious of feminists, like me, are tempted to doubt a whole series of poorly told stories. In Anna’s case, she invites Julian to stay at her house during a seminar in Stockholm; after the dinner, they both end up in bed together, the condom breaks, she asks for him to stop but he doesn’t (in which he will later be accused for sexual assault); and it happens as such that the following night there is a party to show him off to friends as “someone amazing.” The problem is that backstage, Assange discovered Sofia in the first line of his conference that morning; they flirted, they went to the movies and they got affectionate. And it ends there. But it just so happens that Sofia is persistent and invites him over to her house in a small Swedish town, while even paying for the two train tickets. And then, what do you think happens? Well, they have sex first with a condom; later, in the lovely insomnia, without a condom. Only, Sofia claims that she had been sleeping, making Assange’s advances a case of sexual assault.

What is incredible is that three days later, the two women met up and discovered that they had sex with the same man. This is how they got the police to stumble across our idol. And we’re with them. Excluding, however, the little detail that Anna Ardin is a Cuban, anti-Castro and a CIA agent. All for what is believed to be a trick — a set-up of the WikiLeaks founder.

For the moment, in his computing battle, I’m with Julian Assange. I pay him my respects, for all of his manly condom-breaking adventures. But, in reference to women, I think he knows a lot about computers.