'I want to make one thing very clear to Chavez:

 We are unwilling to tolerate all of his insanities.'

                                                                                   [Semana, Colombia]

El Tiempo, Colombia

If I were Bush … Or at Least Uribe

"According to the press, during the U.S. President's fleeting visit to Bogotá, he spoke with President Uribe about issues of interest to both nations. If I were President Bush, I would have done exactly the same thing. After all, why engage in an extensive discussion about the Punic Wars or the anguish felt during Shakespearean times?"

By Daniel Samper Pizano

Translated By Carly Gatzert

March 14, 2007

Colombia - El Tiempo - Original Article (Spanish)

CAMBALACHE: According to the press, during the U.S. President's fleeting visit to Bogotá, George W. Bush spoke with Colombian President Alvaro Uribe concerning issues of interest to both nations. That's logical. If I were the President of the United States, I would have done exactly the same thing. After all, why engage in an extensive discussion about the Punic Wars or the anguish felt during Shakespearean times?

The press went on to list some of the topics discussed, such as drug trafficking, the Free Trade Agreement and the investigation into the Colombian paramilitary. This also makes sense. As President of the United States, those are the subjects that I would have broached with Colombia, as they all concern Washington's interests. However, I have yet to learn which questions, besides those already mentioned, that the Colombian President posed to his colleague. A long list of unsettling subjects come to mind that, if I were President of Colombia, I would have mentioned to our visitor.

For example, since Colombia is the only South American nation that supported the illegal war in Iraq, I would have asked for explanations about the torture, violation of human rights and incomparable violence that have resulted from this invasion. Bush put in his two cents regarding our legal proceedings in the paramilitary scandal. Very well. In return, did Uribe criticize the Guantanamo concentration camp or the secret transfer of prisoners to countries that permit torture?

If I were Uribe, I would have asked the U.S. President how he will stop the destruction of the environment that is promoted by, among others, North American businesses. I would have said to him that carbon dioxide is the primary cause of the increase in temperatures now melting out icecaps, and I would have reminded him that in 2004 the U.S. emitted over 7,000,000,000 tons of this gas, a figure greater than the seven next most highly polluting countries. I would have asked him to sign the Kyoto Treaty as a condition for our approval of the Free Trade Agreement.

On the subject of drugs, if I were President of Colombia, I would have solicited my colleague to submit data regarding the seizure of weapons and chemical products destined for clandestine export to Colombia. It's fair for Bush to inquire into what we are doing to combat drug traffickers. However, it would also be interesting to know what he does on his end to impede the export of substances from the U.S. used to manufacture cocaine, as well as weapons used to attack our soldiers, police, judges, politicians, and reporters. Regarding these same issues, I would have inquired into how many drug traffickers the U.S. captured last year, because we failed to hear of any in Colombia.

On the topic of the Free Trade Agreement, I would have so many questions for Mr. Bush that for him to have ample time to respond, would have required him to take a summer vacation in Uberrimo.

Why does the Free Trade Agreement oblige Colombia to concede to the U.S. treaties that it grants to other countries, yet the United States is not compelled to return the favor?

Why does the U.S. require us to sign or ratify ten international treaties on the subject of property rights as a “test of our love” before signing the Free Trade Agreement, while Colombia cannot demand that Washington accept treaties it refuses regarding environmental protection or those enacted by international tribunals?

Why, if this is a reciprocal treaty, must Colombia, on average, reduce its tariffs four times more than the United States?

Why does the U.S. continue to fund certain exports that destroy our fields?

Does doesn't the U.S. consider it bad faith to patent ancient indigenous remedies?

Why does the United States speak of negotiation when their delegate warns that, “We will make an agreement, but we will decide upon its conditions?”

Finally, as our visit came to an end, I would have asked Mr. Bush for his e-mail address so that I could further question him about everything that remained unanswered, for fooling around and for looking at local handicrafts.

cambalache@mail.ddnet.es

Spanish Version Below

Si yo fuera Bush ... o por lo menos Uribe

Daniel Samper Pizano.

Marzo 14 de 2007 - CAMBALACHE

Según la prensa, durante su visita efímera a Bogota, el presidente estadounidense George W. Bush habló con el presidente Álvaro Uribe acerca de asuntos de interés para los dos países. Lógico. Si yo fuera el presidente de Estados Unidos, habría hecho exactamente lo mismo, porque, ¿qué sentido tendría una extensa charla sobre las Guerras Púnicas o la angustia del tiempo en Shakesapeare?

Algunos de esos temas -agrega la prensa-- fueron el narcotráfico, el TLC y el proceso a los paramilitares. También lo entiendo. Son los temas que, si yo fuera presidente de Estados Unidos, le habría planteado al de Colombia, pues todos resultan de interés para Washington. Sin embargo, no he podido saber qué temas, aparte de los anteriores, propuso el presidente de Colombia al de Estados Unidos. Se me ocurre una larga lista de asuntos inquietantes que, si yo fuera el presidente de Colombia, habría sugerido al visitante.

Por ejemplo, ya que Colombia es el único país suramericano que apoyó la guerra ilegal de Irak, le habría pedido explicaciones sobre las torturas, violación de derechos e imparable violencia que ha desatado la invasión. Bush opinó sobre el proceso a los paramilitares. Muy bien. En reciprocidad, ¿se quejó Uribe por el campo de concentración de Guantánamo o el traslado secreto de presos a países que practican la tortura?

Si yo fuera Uribe, le habría preguntado a Bush cómo detendrá la destrucción del medio ambiente que promueven, entre otras, muchas empresas norteamericanas. Le habría dicho que el dióxido de carbono es causa primaria del aumento de temperaturas que deshiela nuestros nevados y le habría recordado que Estados Unidos emitió en el 2004 más de 7 mil millones de toneladas, cifra superior a la de los siete países más contaminadores. De ñapa, le habría pedido que firmara el Tratado de Kioto, como condición previa para nuestra aprobación del TLC.

En el capítulo de drogas, si yo fuera el presidente de Colombia, habría solicitado a mi colega que exhibiera las cifras de captura de armas y  productos químicos destinados a exportación clandestina a Colombia. Es justo que Bush quiera saber qué hacemos contra los narcotraficantes. Pero habría sido interesante conocer qué hace él para impedir que salgan de Estados Unidos las sustancias que se emplean para procesar la coca y las armas que se utilizan para atacar a nuestros soldados, policías, jueces, políticos y periodistas. Sobre esta misma materia, habría averiguado cuántos capos de la droga agarraron el año pasado allá, porque aquí no supimos de ninguno.

Acerca del TLC tendría tantas preguntas que habría sido preciso llevar a Bush de veraneo al Ubérrimo para que las respondiera. ¿Por qué el TLC obliga a Colombia a conceder a Estados Unidos el mismo trato que otorgue a otro país, pero no ocurre igual a Colombia en los intercambios de Estados Unidos? ¿Por qué nos obligan a firmar o ratificar diez tratados internacionales sobre derechos de propiedad como "prueba de amor" para firmar el TLC, mientras que Colombia no puede exigir a Washington que acoja los de medio ambiente y tribunales internacionales que rehúsa suscribir? ¿Por qué, si es un tratado recíproco, Colombia reducirá sus aranceles en promedio cuatro veces más que Estados Unidos? ¿Por qué mantiene los subsidios a ciertas exportaciones que nos están arruinando el campo? ¿No cree que es un despojo patentar recetas indígenas milenarias? ¿Por qué habla de negociación si su delegado advirtió desde un principio: "se hace el acuerdo, pero nosotros ponemos las condiciones"?

Finalmente, al agotarse el tiempo de visita, le habría pedido el buzón electrónico para preguntarle por correo todo lo que se quedó pendiente por andar pendejeando con artesanías.

cambalache@mail.ddnet.es