Letter from a Disgruntled Iraqi to President Bush
Dear Mr. Bush,
Please accept my warmest greetings and appreciation for all the "good things" your "friendly and liberating" troops have brought to my country.
In the nearly three years since "the liberation," you and your troops have been leading us along the path of "democracy and freedom" and have managed to bring security and stability to our land after decades of oppression.
And because I am so happy with what you have done for us I dreamed of you the other night. Your face beamed, and you kept smiling and you had an olive branch in your right hand.
You were surrounded by angels in the form of birds and looked like an upright, pious man, with a Godly mission. You said all your actions were driven by heavenly advice, including your invasion of our country.
For this reason we thank God for all the suffering, grievances and calamities that have befallen us because of you, since that, at least in your mind, is the wish of God.
Your deeds in Iraq are bearing fruit and your efforts have not gone in vain. "The new Iraq" is a product of your persistence and perseverance.
And because of you and your deeds, "'democracy"' is now deeply rooted in Iraq.
Because of you we have gained nothing and lost almost everything – and may God bless you for it?
We now enjoy the privileges of your humanitarian largess, and because of this our country has returned to the pre-industrial age, which your father once predicted for us.
Our country now has no drinking water, no electricity and no fuel. But what do we need these luxuries for at a time when we are so busy relishing the taste of the "democracy" you have given us?
You should know, now that we are in a tunnel without light, the end of which will be the disintegration of our country into unstable Statelets, that we will be easy to devour for others.
Congratulations Mr. President.
Yours faithfully,
Sammak
Please accept my warmest greetings and appreciation for all the "good things" your "friendly and liberating" troops have brought to my country.
In the nearly three years since "the liberation," you and your troops have been leading us along the path of "democracy and freedom" and have managed to bring security and stability to our land after decades of oppression.
And because I am so happy with what you have done for us I dreamed of you the other night. Your face beamed, and you kept smiling and you had an olive branch in your right hand.
You were surrounded by angels in the form of birds and looked like an upright, pious man, with a Godly mission. You said all your actions were driven by heavenly advice, including your invasion of our country.
For this reason we thank God for all the suffering, grievances and calamities that have befallen us because of you, since that, at least in your mind, is the wish of God.
Your deeds in Iraq are bearing fruit and your efforts have not gone in vain. "The new Iraq" is a product of your persistence and perseverance.
And because of you and your deeds, "'democracy"' is now deeply rooted in Iraq.
Because of you we have gained nothing and lost almost everything – and may God bless you for it?
We now enjoy the privileges of your humanitarian largess, and because of this our country has returned to the pre-industrial age, which your father once predicted for us.
Our country now has no drinking water, no electricity and no fuel. But what do we need these luxuries for at a time when we are so busy relishing the taste of the "democracy" you have given us?
You should know, now that we are in a tunnel without light, the end of which will be the disintegration of our country into unstable Statelets, that we will be easy to devour for others.
Congratulations Mr. President.
Yours faithfully,
Sammak