Getting Under Your Skin

“The Onion,” the world’s largest satire magazine, lays bare politicians’ weaknesses and America’s social problems. Now it must come to terms with the post-Bush era.

“Our long national nightmare of peace and prosperity is finally over.” Those were the words the satirical magazine “The Onion” put in George Bush’s mouth in their parody of his inauguration speech in 2001, never suspecting how prophetically correct they would turn out to be. The editors had Bush starting a Gulf war (“What do we have an army for, anyway?”), the United States sliding into a deep recession, and the chasm between rich and poor growing ever larger.

The way this joke became a bitter reality is almost enough to make people choke on their own laughter. But George Bush’s presidency still had some positive effects, such as inadvertently boosting the magazines’ popularity and circulation figures. Right during the time of “embedded journalism,” satire emerged to prove itself the most effective way to express criticism of the way things were going. The conscious over-stepping of bounds is what makes it possible to address subjects in a way that no serious news media would dare to do. That’s why “The Onion” is more than just pure slapstick; it’s incisive social criticism.

Americans see it that way, as evidenced by the sales figures. With a circulation of 700,000 copies, it’s the largest satire magazine in the world. What began as a joke by two students about 20 years ago is now a professionally directed media venture with offices in ten major U.S. cities.

The breakthrough was accomplished by their online version, which has meanwhile become better known than the print version. Their website receives over 5 million hits a month. TheOnion.com contains not only a complete archive of print articles; it’s also a production platform for their radio programs and videos. “Titanic” is the German equivalent of “The Onion”, but although it’s been around a good ten years longer, and follows much the same format, it can only dream of such market penetration. In TV-mad America, satire has a broader acceptance than it does in Germany, thanks to shows like Jon Stewart and Conan O’Brien. “The Onion” profits from that.

The first broadcast of the news channel “Onion News Network” reported totally manufactured stories in very sober fashion. One of the most popular was an exposure piece in which the United States had been supposedly giving international aid to Andorra for years in the mistaken belief that it was an underdeveloped, poverty-stricken African nation. One-fourth of Americans reportedly can’t locate the United States on a world map, and the piece was a parody of American provincialism.

The idea behind it all is simple: their reports are presented in a serious way that mimics well-known institutions. The print edition looks a lot like the conservative newspaper “USA Today” while their news network is modeled after CNN. When moderator Brandon Armstrong reports plans by North Korean President Kim Jong Il to kidnap the moon and bring it to North Korea in order to remove the American flag erected on it, the report is done with a seriousness that some viewers could find difficult to perceive as satire. The studio mock-up, the jingles, and the appearance of the moderators are all copied from MSNBC or Fox News. Some people often confuse their reports with the real article, and that’s exactly as planned.

The Chinese newspaper Beijing Evening News swallowed an Onion network report that the U.S. Congress had threatened to leave Washington unless the Capitol was outfitted with a sky-dome type roof, a spoof on the threats made by major sports franchises for new taxpayer financed arenas in many cities. “The greatest pleasure we get is when we read serious commentary based on fictional reports,” said Onion manager Julie Smith.

The second strategy they use is to make up news headlines aimed at John Doe, the average American guy on the street who is already a little paranoid anyway. Headlines like “Teenagers In Our Neighborhoods Are Up To Mischief” is right on target with what’s reported in the American tabloid press.

The intention is clear: confront people with bitter realities disguised in a humorous way in order to get them thinking. During times when people are overwhelmed with catastrophic reports on the evening news, satire isn’t just a temporary haven from the nasty world of reality; it can sometimes point the way to real solutions for some social problems.

Indeed, the elitist American educational system doesn’t prepare everyone to understand social debate and the structures of power politics. “The Onion” provides a democratic approach to the news industry because where satire is forbidden democracy also suffers. Only a small portion of the public understands the hire-and-fire personnel policies of big business. But the headline “CEO Fires 5,000 Workers To Impress His Friends” brings the absurdity of the subject right into immediate view.

“The Onion” hardly recognizes any taboos whatsoever. Whether it’s abortion, anorexia, or mass murder sprees, no subject is off limits for parody. With their 9/11 headline “Holy Fucking Shit – Attack on America” the editors just barely missed being awarded a Pulitzer Prize, as a Pulitzer jury member later admitted.

Because of their bluntness, “The Onion” is constantly in litigation with politicians and business representatives. Among others, the Bush White House raised personal objections when “The Onion” did a video piece showing the Presidential Seal without first having gotten permission to do so, a matter the Texan apparently didn’t find amusing.

But now the rich years of George W. Bush satire are history. The new President is philosophically closer to “The Onion” and will hopefully offer a smaller target for their parodies. It remains to be seen how “The Onion” will handle Barack Obama. Their early articles, however, already give a clue: future inauguration oaths will have to be accompanied by dancers displaying hip-hop elements, and blacks are already complaining that they have to stop being so angry and now have to go around looking a lot more friendly.