Tell Us Everything

Acting with the best of intentions, the White House has published detailed documents on CIA interrogation techniques. They provide a mine of information for torturers in more modest countries who may still be using rather unsophisticated techniques, and will also offer inspiration to countless morons and perverts for whom the torture scenes in PG-13 films are just not explicit enough.

As responsible citizens we demand more detail on the methods of the CIA. We want to know the positions and implements used. We want photos. We want to see the victims’ contorted faces and to hear their screams. We have a right to information. Do not deny us that right.

The Russian secret services have been doing a similarly excellent job. In the name of raising public awareness of terrorist attacks, they have just published a how-to guide for terrorists on their website. It tells you everything you could ever need to know, including, among other things, how to make sure that your suicide belt goes undetected.

Bravo, Washington, and thank you, Moscow. All we need now is for a third major country to tell us the most effective way to carry out (a) gang rape or (b) genocide.