Sarah Palin’s ‘Jeu de Paume’

The shot is so close up it doesn’t necessarily indicate that the hand belongs to Sarah Palin, ex-candidate for vice president of the United States. Though she is now the former governor or Alaska, she’s still trigger-happy when it comes to replacing her bedside rug with a new skin of Youki the Grizzly bear. But what is especially notable (and hasn’t escaped the attention of the global internet society), is that Ms. Palin used her left palm to scribble down a few words for reference during a speech in Nashville, Tennessee, on Feb. 6 to serve as a cheat sheet.

For Sarah, the difficult words to memorize were as follows: “energy,” “tax cuts” and “lift American spirit.” In other words, any program in effect — with the ability, of course, to fit on the inside of a hand.

If she would have stayed faithful to the spirit of her presidential campaign, the Republican muse would have noted: “Say ‘the citizens of the State of Israel,’ not ‘these fucking Jewish bastards’; ‘Mr. Ahmadinejad,’ not ‘Iranian cock sucker’; and ‘the president of the United States,’ not ‘Nigger.’”

It would have been much worse had Sarah used one hand to write her shopping list and the other for her to-do list. “Groceries: salt, pepper, 24-pack of Budweiser, 78 cartons Winchester cartridges, and 2 kg of coke.”

“Don’t forget: 1. Vitrify North Korea, Iran, Afghanistan and the Chinese if there are still extra bombs and they continue to annoy us as if they will be the new masters of the world. 2. Return the porno DVD to the video store. 3. Recharge my Winchester because there’s bizarre grunting in the basement (Youki the Grizzly?). 4. Pay my dues to the church of close friends of J.C. and Youki the Grizzly. 5. Drink all the Budweiser. 6. Re-apply my makeup.

It’s pretty obvious that Sarah’s two hands would not suffice. But aside from engaging in some difficult contortions, it’s not clear on what other part of her anatomy she could write her memos so discretely. It so happens that at this meeting for which she found herself in need of a cheat sheet, Sarah Palin may have been conscious (if that word isn’t too complicated for her) of having invented a method of communication. However, it is the swimmer Laure Manaudou who pioneered the act of writing on the palm of her hand with a waterproof felt-tip pen the words ‘ti amo,’ destined for her Italian lover.

But following Sarah’s example, we can imagine that all major world policies could be started in a similar way. As a priority for Barack Obama, “Memo for the CIA: Find the cell phone number of Youki the Grizzly and send her Sarah P.’s two year planner, as well as a stock of hand grenades.” Putin as well: “Memo to KGB: Ask the CIA for the cell phone number of Youki the Grizzly to discuss the U.S. proposal of the surrender of Alaska to Russia.”

And Sarkozy could finally remember what he really thinks: Besson? Piss off! Fillon? Piss off! Régionales? Piss off! Bruno? What’s her first name again? Youki?