There Is a Solution for Everything

Who rules this world? Once upon a time, the whole planet showed servility to the lewd freckles of Bill Clinton and the squinting expression of George junior (we mean Bush. Where did your mind go?). At the time, Americans were clearly killers, and they attacked oil-producing countries with significant geostrategic locations with no excuse. The job of U.S. president, however, has lost its prestige. Biracial Obama sees himself as a peacemaker, and he turns yellow whenever the markets grumble. Our partners, the Americans, are financially tried to the point where we will start racing to send them greetings and humanitarian support. Then, out of nowhere came these mysterious leviathans, the rating agencies, and they seem to have power beyond power. Standard and Poor’s, Moody’s and Fitch are now sending messages of bad news to the world based on their predictions. Their reports have replaced the wars. This is what their profits and conquests are based on. At the same time, acting as if the agencies were seers or fortunetellers, the European administrations pretend to have found their masters. From the inside, however, they still laugh every now and then because the White House has come out and said in its own words what others were too “chicken” to say in order to become killers.

If they really don’t like the rating agencies, why don’t they pay them back with the same butchering economical system that gave birth to them? Why don’t they set them free? Why don’t they open up the profession of the evaluator so that there are more agencies that will start to compete to see who will say the kindest words to their customers? Supporting them will turn them into centers of free education. In order to exist next to the others, they will offer free certificates, credits and nicer grades. Then hottie Obama will reclaim the third “A” that he just lost. There is a solution for everything. Let them hire Anna Diamantopoulou as manager.