You Can Fire Your Assistant If She's Too Sexy

An employer can fire his assistant if she is so attractive as to pose a threat to the stability of his marriage — the Supreme Court of Iowa has decided.

As reported by the biggest newspaper in this American state, the Des Moines Register, a 32-year-old sexy blonde worked for over ten years as an assistant to a 53-year-old dentist. The man complained that the woman dressed in outfits that were so provocative that she distracted him at work — distracted him so much that he thought about her even after leaving work.

For over half a year, the dentist and his assistant sent each other personal text messages after work. These messages were discovered by the dentist’s wife, who declared that the woman threatened their marriage. After consultation with a minister, the man obediently fired his assistant.

The fired woman took the matter to court, complaining about discrimination for being female. The judges from Iowa declared, however, that if the employee is so attractive that the employer cannot resist her, which causes his marriage to be endangered, then that constitutes sufficient reason to fire her in accordance with the law.

It is irrelevant in this case whether the fired woman tried to seduce her boss. It is enough that the employer could not resist her. “These judges sent a message to Iowa women that they don’t think men can be held responsible for their sexual desires and that Iowa women are the ones who have to monitor and control their bosses’ sexual desires,” the assistant attorney stated after the ruling had been pronounced. “If they get out of hand, then the women can be legally fired for it,” she continued, complaining that the Supreme Court was composed solely of men.

In the dentist’s lawyer’s opinion, the unanimous ruling represents the victory of family values. The dentist’s patients should also be happy. Finally, the poor man will be able to concentrate on his work, without risking that he will pull… something which he should not pull.