What Do We Call Bill if Hillary Wins?

It’s pretty rare that questions about diplomatic protocol get asked on television cooking shows. In fact, Bill Clinton appeared on Rachel Ray’s cooking show to help her prepare a black bean and butternut squash chili recipe. And maybe to plug his wife’s not-as-yet-declared but increasingly probable candidacy for the office of president.

But as long as he was there, Rachel Ray took advantage of the opportunity to ask a tough investigative policy question. Noting that there was a possibility Bill might someday be moving back into the White House, she asked what he should be called if that happened, suggesting “first fella” or alternatively “Mr. and Mrs. President.”

Bill Clinton was visibly taken aback. In his characteristically hoarse voice, he admitted he hadn’t given that much thought. But then he came to an apt reply: “You know, if the president is a man, you call the president’s spouse ‘the first lady,’ so we’ll have to cross this bridge if a gay couple [is ever in the White House].” He jokingly suggested, “If a woman became president … I could be called Adam. I don’t know.” As evidenced by the laughter from the audience, Clinton obviously made his point.

One Never Stops Being a Dignitary

His answer was psychologically interesting because Clinton obviously expects he will be married to the new president. At the same time, the title question is nevertheless one being taken up by serious observers of the political scene and not just by cooking show personalities. America is a nation proud of its old and honorable democratic traditions and loves to deck its leaders out with the appropriate protocol.

Even after they have left office, former dignitaries continue to be addressed as “Mister President,” “Madam Ambassador,” “Minister” or “General.” That brings up two problems for Bill Clinton. Not only is he the first person in U.S. history for whom an appropriate masculine designation has to be found, it’s also unclear whether Bill Clinton should continue to be addressed as “Mr. President” when he appears together with his wife, “Mrs. President.” Some people already sense in that situation an opportunity to open old wounds.

In pop culture, where movies and books have long anticipated a future female president, no agreement on that point has ever been reached. For the first movie about a female president, “Kisses for My President,” which starred the late Polly Bergen with Fred MacMurray as her husband, posters referred to “the first male first lady.” But that was a comedy and no one took the issue seriously because it wasn’t ever likely to happen anyway.

But the Guy Needs a Title

Since then, there have been several suggestions for the new title: “First husband” is just one example. Marcus Bachmann, Republican Representative Michele Bachmann’s husband suggested “first spouse,” while Todd Palin liked “first dude,” and Laura Bush thought “first gentleman” would be most fitting.

That’s also the title the National First Ladies’ Library chose as the repository for documents belonging to the president’s wife. The library’s blog also permits “first gent” as an alternative. Bill Clinton himself joked in 2007 that he liked “first laddie.”

Whether Adam, laddie or gentleman, America will surely figure it out and it will quickly become acceptable popular jargon, which was not the case with Angela Merkel’s husband Joachim Sauer, who is yet to get a title befitting his position. Chancellor’s spouse? Husband of the Chancellor? Even “first husband” has been ironically proposed. But nothing has stuck. That surely won’t be the case with Bill Clinton. A far more important question for President Hillary will be what to do with the charismatic and popular guy at her side. How does she channel his energy to avoid the appearance that hers isn’t a mere continuation of his presidency rather than her own?

Billy Gets Second Fiddle

Laura Bush’s advice for the “first gentleman” given in a television interview was “stand back and be quiet.” Those aren’t exactly qualities for which Bill Clinton is famous. Laura Bush thought that perhaps the public fixation on the first lady’s wardrobe or hairstyle would then cease, a matter that obviously upset her during her own time in the White House.

And what does a “first gentleman” do with his time all day? Laura Bush said she hoped he would deal with issues like men’s health — which can be taken as an ironic jab at the things people consider appropriate for first ladies. It’s hard to imagine Bill Clinton doing that. But then it’s still a long road back to the White House.