The New York Lesson

The traditional interpretation of marriage loses its force: The U.S. does permit same-sex marriage while Israel makes advancements toward recognizing civil weddings.

A few months ago The New York Times presented a problem: There are too many Stephen Cohens. One is in Congress, one is a millionaire, two are recognized professors and one works for the governor of New York. He is the close adviser of Andrew Cuomo. This week was, no doubt, the week of this Stephen Cohen character, the one who headed the successful negotiations and opened the door to same-sex marriage in New York.

Negotiations came to a conclusion with "An Unlikely Mix of Forces," as the paper states, pushing for the new law. The Democratic governor was successful in pushing Republican Senators and wealthy donors to take a stand on the issue – against their party. Donors like Paul Singer, who is a billionaire, a Republican and proud father of a gay son.

Opposition to same-sex marriage is becoming eroded in America. Two months ago, it came out that only one percent separated its supporters (45 percent) and its opponents (46 percent) according to the survey done by the PIO Center. This means that in fifteen years the rate of opposition went down by nearly 20 percent (from 65 to 46 percent).

The trend is clear, even if very slow: New York is the sixth state allowing such marriages, while other states are on the way. It is this strategy that most advocates of this institution believe is best: to go state by state, and not an attempt to bypass all of them at once by getting a Supreme Court ruling in their favor (which can, of course, also rule against them).

Just last week the activists were disappointed by President Obama, who preferred to avoid the issue and to not show public support for same-sex marriage. He is a pragmatic politician trying to be elected for a second term. Suddenly he is so happy, covering up this little insult.

A Liberal Coalition Can Pass Appropriate Legislation

Here's a fact that we should come to terms with: The traditional interpretation of marriage is losing its strength in America as in Israel. In America, the erosion is expressed with the alternative single-sex marriage, while in Israel advances are being made toward the day when civil marriages will be permitted.

Two weeks ago the Supreme Court ruled that a marriage by proxy, which is permitted in El Salvador, will be recognized by the Interior Ministry. This is a seemingly technical step, but one that opens the window a little too wide, allowing thousands of Israeli couples to get married without having to go through the rabbinate. Anyway, in another year or two, or five, the dam will finally burst. The numbers will speak and the court will give its ruling or the Knesset will decide.

In order for the Knesset to offer an alternative like civil marriage to all, a coalition of “An Unlikely Mix of Forces” should also be realized here in Israel as in New York. Between organizations seeking to advance this marriage option there are those who believe the time is coming very soon, and the current balance of political power is doomed.

Allowing Progress in this Direction

It’s okay to be skeptical, but you should pay attention to several developments: Some rabbis in the religious national community have not raised any objection to civil marriage; the conversion dilemma prevents Israelis from wedding one another and requires intervention by the Courts. The power of the ultra-Orthodox to enforce religious legislation has weakened in recent years. Try to remember the last time they succeeded. It’s not very difficult to imagine a “liberal” coalition that can pass appropriate legislation.

But more than that, and just as is happening in the United States, the key is public legitimacy regarding civil marriage. Anyone who has a cousin, a brother, a friend or even a colleague who had a civil marriage (in America) or one who can easily imagine his son, daughter or grandson marrying in this manner, or one who has gone to celebrate at an alternative wedding, gave a check, or had a drink; all of these actions are potential supporters of this process. These actions are the Israeli equivalent to what Paul Singer has done, and every year the number increases.