Of Sexual Blunders

Published in El Universal
(Colombia) on 24 April 2012
by Germán Danilo Hernández (link to originallink to original)
Translated from by Camden Luxford. Edited by Casey J. Skeens.
The international scandal that wound up obscuring the results of the sixth Summit of the Americas, thanks to the uncontrolled libido of a group of Secret Service agents, is a compendium of blunders in the exercise of politics, diplomacy, security, morality and even journalism.

It is routine for North American military men to entangle themselves in nights of alcohol and sex during their tours of the world, regardless of whether they are involved in war, humanitarian missions or the protection of dignitaries. Many of Hollywood’s cinematographic productions have been inspired by the furtive affairs of soldiers in brothels, amidst explosions and complex webs of espionage.

The children, accepted or denied, of North American marines in the countries in which Uncle Sam has intervened militarily are another indicator of the battles fought between the sheets by men at arms. The horizontal activities of Secret Service agents in the seductive nights of Cartagena wouldn’t even have been news, had it not been for the colossal clumsiness of some of them. These agents ended up bringing to light the poor behavior of all and subjected one of the most important security organizations in the world to universal ridicule. At the same time, they cast doubt on the president of the United States, right in the middle of his campaign for reelection.

The clumsy act of an agent, arriving blind drunk to the center of strategic operations for the security of the most politically important man in the world — accompanied by a prostitute, only to try to dodge the bill — led to a series of blunders that has still not fully played out.

Equally sloppy was the reaction of the Secret Service itself. Despite the stealth with which it investigates serious accusations against its members in other parts of the world, it left the whoring agents with their pants down and exposed them to the summit's media. There was no need to wait several years for WikiLeaks to reveal the secret files of the investigation.

The gaffes continued with President Obama's decision to speak about the episode instead of what he didn’t want to speak about at the Summit: The return of Cuba to the Organization of American States, Argentine sovereignty over the Falkland Islands and the legalization of drugs. With his permission, furtive sex gained more prominence than international politics.

After the wave of blunders, some government and union spokesmen tried to deny the episode had even occurred, while others professed ignorance of the unconcealed supply of sex in the tourist market of Cartagena, similar to or greater than that of other large world destinations.

The media also contributed to the blunders that characterize this international scandal. Not only did they demonstrate that the exploitation of morbid fascination and basic instincts sell better than investigating what implications the decisions made at the Summit will have on the continent, but they allowed the sexual indiscretions of the secret agents to overshadow other indiscretions that could have made the news.


El escándalo internacional que terminó por opacar los resultados de la VI Cumbre de las Américas, por cuenta de la libido incontrolada de un grupo de agentes del Servicio Secreto de los Estados Unidos, es un compendio de chambonadas en el ejercicio de la política, la diplomacia, la seguridad, la moralidad, e inclusive el periodismo.

Enredarse en noches de copas y piernas es asunto de rutina para los militares norteamericanos en sus correrías por el mundo, independientemente de si se trata de guerras, misiones humanitarias o de protección a dignatarios. Varias producciones cinematográficas de Hollywood se han inspirado en los furtivos amores de soldados en los burdeles, en medio de explosiones o de complejas maniobras de espionaje.

Los hijos aceptados o negados de Marines norteamericanos en países militarmente intervenidos por el Tío Sam son otro indicador de las batallas libradas entre sábanas por los hombres de armas. En tal sentido las jornadas horizontales de los agentes del Servicio Secreto en las seductoras noches de Cartagena no habrían trascendido de no ser por la chambonería en la que incurrieron algunos de ellos, que terminaron por ponerlos a todos en evidencia, dejando en ridículo universal a uno de los organismos de seguridad más importantes del mundo y de paso pusieron entre colchones de dudas, la figura del presidente de los Estados Unidos en plena contienda electoral por su reelección.

El acto chambón de un agente, de llegar “jincho de la perra” al centro de operaciones estratégicas para la seguridad del hombre políticamente más importante del mundo, acompañado de una prostituta y pretender ponerle “conejo”, generó una seguidilla de chambonadas que aun no se detiene.

No menos chapucero que él, fue el procedimiento del propio Servicio Secreto, que a pesar del sigilo con que investiga graves acusaciones contra sus miembros en diferentes partes del mundo, dejó al descubierto el derrier de los agentes putañeros y los involucró en la agenda mediática de la cumbre. No fue necesario que pasaran varios años para que Wikileaks revelara los expedientes secretos de la investigación.

Las torpezas continuaron con la decisión del Presidente Barak Obama de hablar del episodio a cambio de lo que no quiso hablar en la Cumbre: el retorno de Cuba a la OEA, la soberanía de Argentina sobre las Islas Malvinas y la legalización de las drogas. Con su venia, el sexo secreto cobró protagonismo por encima de la política internacional.

Consecuentemente con la oleada de pifias, algunos voceros oficiales y gremiales pretendieron negar la ocurrencia del episodio, mientras otros insisten en desconocer la inocultable oferta sexual en el mercado turístico de Cartagena, similar o mayor al de otros grandes destinos del mundo.

Las chambonadas que caracterizan éste escándalo internacional no exceptúan a los medios de comunicación; no sólo porque demostraron que la explotación del morbo y las bajas pasiones se venden más que investigaciones sobre las implicaciones que tendrán para el continente las decisiones de la cumbre, sino porque los deslices sexuales de los agentes secretos eclipsaron otras indelicadezas que también pudieron ser noticias.
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