Putin Is Not a Thief!

One can reply to American fabrications about Putin's corruption in a number of ways. For example, one can simply not reply at all. But they keep talking and talking – it's all garbage no matter who's saying what. One can answer like Peskov did; that is, go after politicians in the White House and blame it all on the next election, and not even the American election, but the one we'll be having in 2018.* This strategy is called "you baffled me with your questions, so I'll baffle you with my answers." But there is one more way to respond. It's the most honest, but it's also risky and rather eccentric. But I would explain to the Americans that Putin is in no way corrupt in the following way.

Can we really claim that, let's say, Peter the Great, Nicolas II, and Alexander III were all corrupt officials? That would be absurd! With Putin it's exactly the same. He is the keeper of Russian lands; everyone has to admit this. Why is he corrupt? Because Rotenburg wanted money and devised the Platon levy system?** Because almost everyone who's met Putin on the road of life and befriended him has wound up on a list in Forbes? That's not corruption; that's friendship. Any one of us would want to have a friend like Putin and become a millionaire at minimum. Any one of us, if one considers oneself a good person, would also help one’s own friends. It's just that not all of us are the president, and therefore we can't give away Platon levy systems to our friends.

As for Putin's fabled riches, his billions of euros, the real estate he owns on some islands somewhere as well as in the Alps, all this is, by now, complete stupidity. Just ask yourselves: When was the last time Putin even stepped into a store? When was the last time he went somewhere himself to grab a grocery cart and toss in some kefir, kielbasas, and sliced baguettes? It was literally in the last millennium! When was the last time he spent money on any kind of hygiene product or household necessities? I suspect that he hasn't done anything like that for 17 years. He simply no longer needs money, neither rubles nor dollars. He can get anything his heart desires, and in practically any quantity. He's treated by the best doctors. If he wants to build a home somewhere, he just points. The state has spent billions on the "Cortege" project so that he can move through the town in style.*** He gets planes, yachts, and everything he could want! And all for free. Even his friends have to pay for these things; the oligarchs, who need to spend money to get all the trappings of a privileged life.

But Putin just doesn't have to pay. There's nothing sillier than trying to imagine foreign bank accounts. Does anyone really think that Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin is about to retire, move to Baden-Baden, and start a new life there with his secret billions? Or just retire and live in Barvikha?**** A czar cannot retire. A czar wants to rule forever. In this context, the American plots for our presidential election in 2018 seem even more laughable.

*Translator's Note: Dmitri Sergeyevich Peskov is a Russian diplomat. He's currently the presidential spokesperson for the Russian Federation.

**Translator's Note: The Platon levy system is a series of new tolls on long distance truck drivers. The initiative sparked a large trucker's strike that lasted from the implementation of the tolls in November 2015 through January 2016. The system's private operator, RT-Invest Transport System, is owned in part by the Rotenberg family of Russian oligarchs, who are close friends of Putin. Anti-corruption activists are now suing the company in connection with the lucrative government contract they obtained for the project.

***Translator's Note: The Cortege project is a state-funded initiative to develop special armored limousines for the Kremlin's use.

****Translator’s Note: Barvikha is a rural locality in the Moscow suburbs.