Donald Trump Comes Up with the Ultimate Weapon To Knock Out Coronavirus

Published in La Croix
(France) on 22 June 2020
by Alain Remond (link to originallink to original)
Translated from by Hal Swindall. Edited by Gillian Palmer.
During his first campaign rally on Saturday in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Donald Trump claimed he was in good shape. He immediately showed it by coming up with a truly astonishing discovery, when he called screening for COVID-19 "a two-edged sword" because the more it is done, the more cases it finds. Dang, but it's true! Trump therefore drew the conclusion that he should order health authorities to slow their rate of testing since it reveals more cases. It must be added that immediately prior to the rally, six members of his campaign team tested positive and were placed in quarantine. Had they not been tested, no one would have known!

The same goes for the U.S. population, so Trump has come up with the ultimate weapon to knock out COVID-19: no new testing, no new cases, no more pandemic. How impeccably irrefutable! Trump is so pleased with his realization that he uses it on his favorite playground: defending his own interests. On the very day of the rally, he dismissed a federal prosecutor who had the bad taste to investigate his close associates. No more prosecutor, no more inquiry, no more risk of being compromised! I suppose Trump can use this method to eradicate racism, violence, unemployment, poverty, etc.; all he needs to do is not discuss them. So easy!



Lors de son premier grand meeting de campagne, samedi, en Oklahoma, Donald Trump a assure qu'il etait "en pleine forme". Et il l'a instantement prouve. Il vient en effet de faire une decouverte etonnante : "Le depistage, a-t-il revele, est une arme a double tranchant : plus on depiste, plus on trouve des cas." Bon sang mais c'est bien sur ! Il en a aussitot tire la conclusion qui s'imposait, en demandant aux autorites sanitaires de "ralentir le rythme du depistage, car cela augmente le nombre de cas detectes". Il faut dire que, just en avant de meeting, six membres de son equipe de campagne avaient ete testes positifs et places en quarantaine. On ne les aurait pas testes, personne n'aurait rien su. Pareil pour l'ensemble de la population americaine. Donald Trump vient ainsi d'inventer l'arme absolue pour terrasser le coronavirus : on ne teste plus, donc on ne trouve plus rien, donce il n'y a plus d'epidemie. Imparable. Irrefutable. Il est tellement content de cette decouverte qu'il l'a appliquee a son terrain de jeu favori : la defense de ses interets. Le jour meme de ce meeting, il a en effect limoge un procureur federal qui avait le mauvais gout d'enqueter sur ses proches. Plus de procurer, donc plus d'enquete, donc plus aucun risque de trouver quoi que ce soit de compromettant. J'imagine qu'il va appliquer la meme methode pour eradiquer le racisme, la violence, le chomage, la pauvrete : il suffit de ne plus en parler. Fastoche.
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