Why Is the King of Pop Here?

Why is the King of Pop here? Why did he arrive in the Arabian Peninsula? Was he invited by VIP fans who wanted to give him a break from the misery and long court sessions in California so he could bask in the Bahrain sun?

As the King suffers from an unusual skin disease known as whiter-whiter-whiter, I don’t think he would enjoy the sun, even if he wears the strongest sunblock ever made. Even this would not be good enough to protect his fragile, baby-smooth complexion. Or maybe Michael Jackson has come to watch camel races and make friends with young jockeys? Perhaps he could lure them into a trip to Neverland with their camels!

Then we hear that the pop star has decided to buy property in Dubai, which is also too sunny for his baby-smooth skin. Perhaps companies in Dubai are using the King of Pop to advertise their properties. Companies often hire superstars to promote their products and projects. I wouldn’t be at all surprised if a hundred companies pursue Michael Jackson to boost real estate sales or attract tourists. The pop star still enjoys tremendous global popularity, despite the scandals that surround him from time to time.

I don’t want to be cynical and suggest that the guy wants to “have a different taste.” Perhaps he thinks that rules in the Third World are more flexible since we don’t sue others at random like they do in the United States. Even if he is sued for “overfriendliness,” the penalties wouldn’t cost him as much as they would in Santa Barbara. His lawyers here wouldn’t charge him anywhere near as much as Thomas Mesereau Jr.

Moreover, if he were well-connected here, there probably would be no case in the first place. Wasta (influence) is a big issue in our part of the world. It depends on who you know, who you talk to and how well you know them. By the way, I’m a long-time fan of his music and maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll throw a concert here. So I hope the King of Pop enjoys his stay in the Gulf.

It’s only a theory … a conspiracy theory.