Politicians Cry Too

John Boehner is the nation’s most powerful Republican and the most influential politician in Washington after the president and vice president. He is the speaker of the House of Representatives and also the most well-known crybaby in the entire country. And now he has new reasons for shedding tears, as he is hated by legislators from his own party, many of whom would like to see him removed from office, even when they know full well that would make him burst into tears.

Boehner, Congress’s tannest and least popular member, is now publicly humiliated by his own Republican colleagues, many of whom he cannot control since they believe he isn’t right-wing or conservative enough. Others accuse him of being weak, insecure, and of not adequately opposing Barack Obama and Democrats in general.

For quite some time, it has been obvious that the extreme right has been sick of him and recently has grown angrier than ever. No one knows what his political future will be like, or if he will even have one. No one dares to speculate what will happen to him, but it is generally feared that after five years as congressional leader, the hardline Republicans may force him to give up, as he has gone from one crisis to another, and discontent has increased in recent months. Boehner tearlessly dismissed that possibility, but potential successors have already begun to be mentioned, like Paul Ryan of Wisconsin, and Kevin McCarthy of California, except that they are supposedly his friends, and are loyal to him, and would never betray him or make him cry.

Boehner is the people’s crier. He weeps when he speaks of his infancy and his youth, when he references his family or children, when the topic shifts to casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan, or when he narrates how he overcame poverty. He bawled in November when the Republicans gained control of both houses of Congress, and more recently in an interview broadcast on TV, in which he gave a guided visit on Capitol Hill. He cried even harder when, later in the program, they asked him to talk about his beginnings.

He has sobbed openly in House sessions during talks about military expenses or when a veteran on the stand told of his experiences a as prisoner of war. He has burst into tears when they have given him awards or recognitions, and everyone knows he cries constantly during golf tournaments, or when remembering old friends, and, without fail, when he sees the flag raised, or witnesses patriotic expressions.

Actually, those who are close to him say he cries over everything, but the things that make him tear up most are soldiers and the memory of his past as the second-oldest in a Catholic family, living in Cincinnati without resources and with 12 children. Boehner is a millionaire now, but he can’t hold back when he remembers his two-room house where he grew up sharing a bedroom with his brothers and sisters.

“I can get pretty emotional. I learned there are some things I really can’t talk about,”* conceded Boehner on several occasions. Some say he cries because he is too soft; others say it is a political maneuver to gain followers, and there are those who believe that it has something to do with his consumption of alcohol, as it is no secret that this 65-year-old congressman is a heavy smoker, likes red Merlot, and is a frequent visitor to the bars near Congress.

His opponents say that his constant wailing is worrisome and affirm that he needs character, but his followers argue that he cries because these topics really hit home. Either way, he’s not the only politician in Washington who cries. In fact, both Bushes shed tears on one occasion. And Hillary Clinton, John Kerry, and Edmund Muskie have all cried while campaigning for the presidency.

Nothing against crying, but just imagine President Obama drying his eyes, wiping his nose, and contorting his face in public, either here or abroad. And let’s not forget that Boehner is second in line to succeed him as the most powerful man on Earth, only after Vice President Joe Biden, should there be an emergency.

*Editor’s note: Correctly translated, this quote could not be verified.