Masters of the Universe

The masters of the world gathered yesterday in Brussels for the G7 summit. I watched the display intently, together with perhaps hundreds of millions of viewers.

Obama, resting his cheek on his hand, dressed in a modest chocolate brown jacket, free in his movements in the American manner, thin — which is always a plus — lanky, the first black president, which gives him an advantage over whites.

David Cameron is next to Obama. From a distance, it is clear that the Englishman has the same wishy-washy eyes as John Lennon. With just such wishy-washy British eyes, they conquered the entire world in the 19th century. With these eyes they forced guns upon sepoys: It’s nothing personal, I serve the British Empire. Now they play a supporting role in the world: The U.S. is number one.

Obscenely pale, with a slightly flabby face, always drawing her head (she’s from East Germany, after all) into her shoulders, is Angela Merkel. The guise of an aunt with her shopping bag, the slovenly Frau’s expected appearance, is nevertheless appropriate for Germany, which is to this day stigmatized by the Fuhrer.

Francois Hollande is a stout baldy, disliked by his capricious nation more and more.

The new Italian premier is a young pudge with disorderly manners who looks more like the owner of a pizzeria. Well, the Italians apparently like such fellows. We didn’t pick him.

There was also a Chinese official with dyed hair there (none of the Chinese leaders is grey-haired; they all have dyed hair), and this alien kept a close eye, like a crow, on what was taking place, apparently in order to snatch up anything not nailed down.

And a few more grey-haired and wishy-washy characters, in the style of “white on white,” were there as well, the premiers of lesser countries.

Examining them with the eyes of a litterateur, I thought to myself: These middle-aged people could incinerate any country on the planet at will….

The star and center of the whole company is, of course, Obama. His country is the most powerful. Its army has a presence in Europe, Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea and Japan. Obama lazily says something in response to his neighbors and smiles readily, as if his pals had come over to his place for tea. He carries himself like an ancient Roman — in the era of the decline, however, when they started handing out citizenship left and right.

So is this joined-at-the-hip union of European countries and America all that natural?

Just yesterday Ayatollah Khamenei, an old man in a white turban sitting among other ayatollahs in white turbans, said gently, or rather with regret, that “Old Europe has mistakenly chosen to partner with the New World” — he thus aptly and in an old-fashioned way referred to the United States. The Old World and the New World are far from having the same interests. Khamenei called the subjugation of Europe to America’s interests a mistake.

An ayatollah is usually a man of wisdom. Men who are not wise do not end up becoming ayatollahs. He correctly understood everything. Not all the adventures of the New World bring good fortune to the Old World. If anything, they all bring misfortune.

It’s absolutely clear to me personally that a union of the Old World, of Europe and of Russia, would be far more organic. But in the form Europe is in now, they simply cannot fathom the potential of such a union. And what courage is needed!

They’re clueless.

Having arrived at the ceremony of the Allied invasion of Normandy, David Cameron met with Vladimir Putin. It’s not clear who chose the meeting place, but it was an insignificant place, and the one who chose it wanted to emphasize the insignificance of the meeting. They met at the pavilion for officials and delegations at Charles De Gaulle Airport.

And they didn’t shake hands. I don’t doubt that it was precisely for this that Cameron met with Putin — in order to deliberately not shake his hand.

However, Mr. Peskov claims that after the meeting, Cameron and Putin nevertheless shook hands. Then Russia’s president visited the Élysée Palace, and by then all the necessary handshakes were there.

However, Francois Hollande had already played his dirty trick on Russia’s president before the meeting. He deviously invited Petro Poroshenko to the commemoration in Normandy, having waited until a few days after Putin had been invited, after Putin had already agreed to come.

Just how Putin and Poroshenko will hit it off there we shall see, but it is not the most pleasant situation. There are too many unpleasant people there, and to be frank, only the Chinaman is worthy of a handshake.

Obama is threatening Russia with a third blow: new sanctions against the Russian Federation. He does so clumsily and with appeals to Russia’s president. Besides the president, Mr. Obama, there are people in Russia, an overwhelming majority (you couldn’t even dream of such support in your country!) — more than 90 percent — of whom enthusiastically greeted Crimea’s reunification with Russia. And they now demand that Russia extend a helping hand to the rebel republics of Donetsk and Lugansk.

By threatening us with sanctions, you are using improper language, saying that you have “isolated” Russia, that you want to “force” Russia to change course.

Please, do without this tone in the imperative. You should not speak with us like that, or we will get angry and turn against the Old and New World with sanctions of our own.

The Old World, Europe, can be destabilized through support for separatist movements in Europe: support for the Basque to form their own state in what is currently southern France and northwest Spain; support for Scotland and Wales in their fight for independence; support for Corsica’s nationalists, for Catalonia’s nationalists.

We have a wide variety to choose from.

And in order to turn Europe into a boiling Ukraine, one could instigate the migrants in Europe to revolt: the Turks, Arabs, Pakistanis, Libyans, Somalis and so on, right up to the Albanians.

The United States is also vulnerable, even if it regards itself as Master of the Universe. The U.S. minority population already exceeds 52 percent. When Mexico sleeps, it sees the return of California, of the state of New Mexico.

In its time, the Soviet Union knew how to stir up national liberation movements across the planet. Our experts have not yet all died off, so you need to speak politely with us.