If It Were the United States of Little Wasp

Published in Il Giornale
(Italy) on 22 February 2012
by Marcello Veneziani (link to originallink to original)
Translated from by Micaela Bester. Edited by Tom Proctor.
Today in New York and then in Florence begin the solemn celebrations of the 500th anniversary of the death of Amerigo Vespucci. In particular, an exhibit is unveiled in New York today: “Amerigo’s America – Florence and the merchants of the New World”.

And I, since I was a young boy, have asked myself a terrible question: What would the world have been like if America had taken not the first name but the surname of the Florentine navigator?

Think about it, the United States of Little Wasp. Would a country dedicated to the diminutive name of an insect ever have become a global superpower? Would it ever have conquered the earth and the moon and colonized the customs of the planet? Who would have been afraid of little wasps? How would the waspian way of life have been able to command the world? Little wasps would not have suffered from gigantism, as instead do the Americans, and not even from obesity, but from nanoism, in fact more so from insectism. It would have passed unobserved or considered bothersome at the most.

Their flag would be of yellow stripes on a black background, because as the encyclopedias explain, “Wasps have yellow stripes on a brown body” (hence Bruno Vespa). Their buzz would not have had global resonance; a good insecticide would have sufficed to keep them far away from Europe, and the redskins would still be the lords of their land. In dictionaries, they would not have been present on the first few pages, as their lavish name America obliges, but relegated to the back, between Vespasiano, the pioneer of the toilet, and Vispa Teresa, butterfly hunter. Ah, the power of a name…


Se ci fossero gli Stati Uniti di Vespuccia

Cominciano oggi a New York e poi a Firenze i solenni festeggiamenti per il cinquecentesimo anniversario della morte di Amerigo Vespucci. In particolare si inaugura oggi a New York una mostra «Amerigo’s America - Firenze e i mercanti del Nuovo Mondo».

E io mi pongo sin da quando ero bambino una terribile domanda: ma come sarebbe stato il mondo se avessero dato all’America non il nome ma il cognome del navigatore fiorentino?

Pensate, gli Stati Uniti di Vespuccia. Sarebbe mai diventata una superpotenza mondiale, avrebbe mai conquistato la terra e la luna e colonizzato i costumi del pianeta un Paese dedicato al diminutivo di un insetto? A chi avrebbero fatto paura i vespuccini, come avrebbero potuto imporre al mondo il vespuccian way of life? I vespuccini non avrebbero sofferto di gigantismo, come invece gli americani, e nemmeno di obesità; ma di nanismo, anzi di più, di insettismo e sarebbero passati inosservati o al più considerati molesti.

La loro bandiera sarebbe a strisce gialle su fondo nero, perché come spiegano le enciclopedie «i vespidi hanno strisce gialle su corpo bruno» (da cui Bruno Vespa). Il loro ronzio non avrebbe avuto risonanza mondiale, sarebbe bastato un buon insetticida per tenerli lontani dall’Europa; e i pellerossa sarebbero ancora i signori della loro terra. Nei dizionari non starebbero alle prime pagine come impone il loro sontuoso nome America; ma relegati in fondo, tra Vespasiano,l’imperatore dei gabinetti, e la Vispa Teresa, cacciatrice di farfalle. Ah, che può combinare un nome...
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