There Is No Free Seat for Gabriel at the US Table

May 11, 2014

Published in Die Welt
(Germany) on 5 May 2014
by Hans Zippert (link to original link to original)

Translated from by Daniel Eck. Edited by Tess Chadwick.

Sigmar Gabriel urged for more transparency during negotiations with the U.S. over the free trade agreement. The federal minister for economic affairs has lost all sense of perspective since he is not invited to the negotiations anymore. Supposedly, there is either no free seat or the walls of the negotiations room are too weak.

Nobody knows what is being decided during these secret negotiations, as they would otherwise not be secret. Will Sigmar Gabriel finally receive the long awaited chlorine-washed chicken, or will the Americans prefer to keep it to themselves? Chlorine-washed chicken is the United States’ most exported product; one does not hear of anything else.

As is generally known, Americans shoot chickens and then bathe them in chlorine. Chlorine makes the meat very white. One could use these chickens to disinfect open-air swimming pools here.

Many citizens worryingly wonder whether a person running amok from the U.S. will have an effect in Europe. Once the free trade agreement is ratified, overweight, genetically manipulated politicians will be in charge, and we will be using chlorine as opposed to milk to bleach our coffee.

Der Wirtschaftsminister hat mehr Transparenz bei den Verhandlungen über das Freihandelsabkommen gefordert. Er blickt selber nicht mehr durch, weil man ihn nicht mitverhandeln lässt. Von Hans Zippert

Sigmar Gabriel hat mehr Transparenz bei den Verhandlungen über das Freihandelsabkommen mit den USA gefordert. Der Wirtschaftsminister blickt selber nicht mehr durch, weil man ihn nicht mitverhandeln lässt. Mal ist angeblich kein Stuhl mehr frei, mal sind die tragenden Mauern des Verhandlungsraums zu schwach.

Niemand weiß, was in den Geheimgesprächen beschlossen wird, sonst wären es ja auch keine Geheimgespräche. Bekommt Sigmar Gabriel endlich die lang ersehnten Chlorhühner, oder wollen die Amerikaner die lieber für sich behalten? Chlorhühner sind das Hauptausfuhrprodukt der USA, man hört jedenfalls von nichts anderem.

Bekanntlich erschießen die Amerikaner die Hühner und tauchen sie danach in ein Chlorbad. Chlor macht das Fleisch schön weiß, und man könnte die Hühner bei uns zur Desinfektion von Freibädern einsetzen.

Viele Bürger fragen sich auch besorgt, ob US-Amokläufer ihren Wirkungskreis bis nach Europa ausdehnen dürfen. Ist das Freihandelsabkommen erst mal ratifiziert, dann geben hier übergewichtige genmanipulierte Politiker den Ton an, und statt mit Milch bleichen wir unseren Kaffee mit Chlor.

This post appeared on the front page as a direct link to the original article with the above link .

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