The Sinister New Imperialist Plan

In Latin America, Yankee imperialism is not what it used to be: Before it sent us its Marines, it banned trade, participated in sudden attacks through CIA agents, or promoted "carnal relations."

Instead, during the last 15 years, it has managed to defeat the populists by the simple method of giving them absolute liberty and leaving them to govern however they see fit. The result of this unexpected, cheap and sensational trick is that Venezuela and Argentina have a disastrous economy and are on the brink of devastation.

However, this phlegmatic indifference has not liberated the United States from the high-sounding invectives of the nationalist leaders who need their old enemy in order to excuse their catastrophic negligence and to keep their gang well-united. These pompous histrionics are not all unwarranted.

Despite Washington now having a policy of neither interfering nor responding to insults in order not to cast more attention on the simple minded, every so often it must show some small gesture of strength. Let's use some common sense: If at recess you don't take care of yourself, everyone will walk all over you. In terms of global business, trying to improve your place in the market by offending a corporate giant is a gutsy move and has the same consequences as volunteering off your own back to close the doors to your own store. Nothing will happen, but you will lose.

Following with the bog analogy, we talk about this moth-eaten, anti­North American culture as regards college; the kid that fought with everyone at first was viewed as a hero, then, as a crazy kid, and in the end, we saw him for what he really was: a sad fool. Bioy [Casares] purposefully wrote one day that "the world attributes its misfortunes to the conspiracies and plots of huge evil doers. I understand that stupidity goes underestimated."

All of this went directly to the Cabinet Office's head, who then started the week comparing the United States to a rapist; she applauded a complaint of a possible attack perpetrated in the North against its boss and ended up begging when the Department of State considered this lie unlikely and of little seriousness. Now, it seems that Cristina [Kirchner] had not alluded to the Yankees but that her spokespeople had their "tails between their legs," she has suggested. After accusing Obama of being a liar, manipulator, destabilizer and possible assassin, the president was offended because the embassy advised tourists that Argentina was unsafe. “They must think we live in the Far West", said the horrified doctor who lives in a helicopter. It was the same day as the news that the Buenos Aires police infantry devoted itself body and soul to watching over the besieged hospitals of the Mexico City metro area

Perhaps it was a historic day, not only because the president further trivialized the cosmic confabulation and long-held concept of destabilization, but principally because she humiliated the owner of the Central Bank, childhood friend of Néstor [Kirschner], and unleashed a trembling in the markets and among her own ranks. That afternoon, she was seen upset and scrupulously denying the undeniable. One must get rid of the word "not" from two of her nuclear claims: "I'm not upset, and this is not an economic problem." The truth is that she was extremely upset precisely because of the economic mess. We all understand that she saw the obvious, the fire, but she limited herself to who had supposedly lit the flames and then launched, as is her habit, into throwing more gasoline onto it. The government, therefore, played with fire. With the inflation, recession, restrictions on purchasing, the default and court order. She won the lottery to be president and won the prize of an economic crisis that still has not shown its full face. It is not known, in this sense, who is right, [Roberto] Feletti or Moody. A congressman of Cristina's tribe affirmed that "we have dollars to last us until December 2015." The risk assessor concluded that with the current speed of the loss of current reserves, the money would not be enough to last until that date.

However it may be, the alternatives don't look any better: We cross the finish line at death's door, saving death for a later time, or we will get a flat tire along the road.

Even pure-blooded Cristina supporters are suffering the consequences of the frenzy. Cristina entrusted all her power to a boy whose greatest political ancestor lays claim to having created the university group, TNT, “Dumb, but not too much.” “We hope that those initials are not an explosive sign,” quietly joked the Cabinet workers. They say [Axel] Kicillof is the Robin Hood of the 21st century. That’s what the enemies of Robin Hood say. They need to light a candle because the “pendex,” the name they call their mentor, has our pocket in her hands, our jobs, and our insomnia. The crux of the question is found, confirms Claudio, in the fact that the president is not as interested in sorting out the problem as she is in demonstrating that there are 200 years of problems within the economy. Isn’t it fascinating to be a part of such a creative experiment?

The situation is at the same time both tired and original. Normally, the thing that governs also calms, and the thing that opposes it also irritates. On this finishing line, the government entrusted the good sense to its opponents, but they don’t really know what to do with her. Cristina, who has decided to carry “kirchnerismo” home in her wallet, has returned to this strange position that has only one person blocking it: In the Senate it was, as now, the verbal rebellion, but she could do it in an irresponsible way, given that her husband is dedicated to amassing, in parallel to her, realistic and concrete politics. Her big partner does not exist anymore, and so, all that remains for her is revolt.

At the same time, Néstor considered that applying power was equivalent to dominating the coin: rein in inflation and quieten the dollar. Measured with this hardly demanding stick, this administration is an ode to impotence. It seems to fatally be following the same path of [Carlos] Menem: falling at the same hurdle that it had gotten over at the beginning and believing that when its opponents govern, they will be over the ruined government that they left behind. It’s always good to remember that when the unfortunate debacle of 2001 is retold, society remembers that Menem wasn’t unconnected with her. The following elections that voted Kirchner into office inspired some déjà vu with alpha males due to the “Peronismo” of Gen. Juan, but the immense majority of the electorate was pre-occupied with burying his leadership forever.

Without either fully accepting the grave economic situation nor understanding the rules of a democratic transition, the “Cristinismo” will advance without piety, or without taking the hint. One day it suggests a Copernicus­ like change in its exterior politics; another day it decides to take on 13,000 new state employees, and then, it adds a trial essay about the total legalization of drugs, and later, it imposes a civil code and signs a hydrocarbon law that will determine future generations. And it does all this without remembering, without listening and without asking what society thinks and what is important to it. In the meantime, the government erects statues and overambitious buildings and put its own name on it so that it ends up being familiar, unforgettable and eternal.

The international audience looks stunned upon these folkloric goings on in an unrecognizable country, or maybe sadly well-known, that is never guilty of its misfortunes and is a perpetual victim of the planetary powers. Please, don’t underestimate our own stupidity.