The Mind of Trump

Published in Sábado
(Portugal) on 17 October 2016
by Dulce Garcia (link to originallink to original)
Translated from by Katie Gustin. Edited by Melanie Rehfuss.
– Life in America is a circus! Seems like everything on TV is invented, the movies and shows have nothing to do with reality. It's all coming from the heads of Hollywood and the H2O gang, and as it goes back in ...

– HBO.

– Haven't you been following the adventures of Mr. Canary Head? I'm laughing out loud.

– Mister-what-head?!

– Haha, the guy with orange hair who wants to be president of the United States.

– Trump?

– You have to laugh. Did you hear what's been happening? Total hilarity. We Portuguese are running out to buy a phone so we can hear about greedy old fogies who only concern themselves with suitcases full of laundered money! Meanwhile for Americans it's pretty much a forró.*

– Forró is in Brazil.

– The Brazilians are crazy too, but this is way better. There's no comparison.

– Listen, if I were the father of that married woman he tried to grope, I'd slap him upside the head. That pig thinks that if you're rich and famous you can do anything.

– It goes both ways, she's no saint.

– Why?

– Because it's one thing when you're offered a pair of shoes (or a lobster dinner), and entirely different when you get something like a wardrobe (or a mind) for free. Every woman knows it's coming too easy! Even in America.

*Editor’s note: Forró is a genre of Brazilian music that encompasses various dance styles.


– A vida na América é um espectáculo. Eu a pensar que aquilo que via na televisão era tudo inventado, que os filmes e as séries não tinham nada a ver com a realidade; que saía tudo da cabeça daquela malta de Hollywood e da H2O, e na volta...

– HBO.

– Não tens acompanhado as cenas do cabeça-de-canário? Parto-me a rir com ele.

– Cabeça de quê?!

–Oh pá, aquele com o cabelo amarelo que quer ser Presidente da América.

– O Trump?

– É só rir. Tu ouviste aquela escuta que lhe fizeram? O tipo é um pândego. A gente em Portugal gasta um dinheirão em telefones para escutar malta cinzentona e gananciosa que só quer saber de malas de dinheiro e de fotocópias, enquanto eles lá na América é um forró.

– Forró é no Brasil.

– Também são muita loucos, os brasileiros, mas este ainda é melhor. Não há pai para ele.

– Olha, se eu fosse pai da mulher casada que ele tentou apalpar dava-lhe dois chapadões. Javardo, acha que por ser rico e famoso pode fazer tudo.

– Alto e pára o baile, que ela também não é nenhuma santa.

– Porquê?

– Porque uma coisa é oferecerem-te um par de sapatos ou uma lagosta suada, outra, bem diferente, é receberes uma cómoda ou um psiché grátis. Qualquer mulher sabe que isso traz água no bico. Até na América.
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