Of Animals and Presidents

Barack Obama promised his daughters a puppy. What that tells us about the new president and what it means for us all.

Disregarding all the yammer about emotion and change, this miserably long election night was somewhat reminiscent of the Grand Prix d’Eurovision – just without the pop singers and bizarre outfits.

I wasn’t rudely awakened from my drowsy stupor until that part of Barack Obama’s speech where he said he wanted to thank his daughters by giving them a puppy to take with them to the White House. Holy mackerel, what a guy that Obama is! He already had the guts to openly admit his first bribery deal, and on live television!

This historic puppy quote raises some questions, however: first, is he talking about a real puppy or is that just some cutesy American slang term? Can you earn a puppy? Is that how they praise investment bankers after they make a sweet deal? “Congratulations, Frank! You’ve earned yourself a puppy!”

Second, could puppies possibly be the solution to every problem? Right now on the Internet, a video featuring actresses Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones is making the rounds. In it, they talk about the financial crisis and after some very deep analysis come to the conclusion they’ve found a way out of it. “Puppies!” they both squeal as they romp around with a whole litter of them. Completely believable!

Third, will we all get a puppy? It sure sounded like that’s what Obama wants. Hope, prosperity and puppies for everybody! Except for those bad guys who voted for McCain, of course. They get wrinkled old tortoises.