Sarah Palin’s Alaska

Just after Cake Boss and before l’Homme Tronc, two incredibly intellectual shows, Sarah Palin was back on the TLC network Wednesday night.

For those who do not know, since last Sunday and for the next seven weeks, Sarah Palin became the first politician to dare adventure into reality television. Until now, reality shows were reserved for popular singers on comebacks, rockers with burnt out brain cells, exhibitionist dog groomers or unemployed neurotic starlets.

However, Sarah Palin has once again set a precedent by inviting cameras into her “little” 22-room house on the tundra of Wasilla, Alaska, with, of course, a generous reward from the producer. Five million Americans watched the first episode, a number that must have immediately appalled Steven Cowan from Wisconsin, who shot at his TV with a rifle after seeing Bristol, Palin’s daughter, dancing with the stars on another TV show.

But back to the topic, or rather to our bears and our salmons, the recalcitrant stars of Sarah and her family’s game fishing. Before jumping into a hydroplane like a taxi, Sarah introduced us to her five offspring. All have borrowed names, from aircraft (Piper), uncoated paper (Bristol), trees (Willow), trails in the forest (Track) and Trigonometry (Trig). Obviously, Sarah doesn’t lack imagination. However, she does lack the capacity to face her own contradictions.

Taking refuge on the edge of a concrete terrace, she “studies” files most likely prepared by an accessory while complaining about her new neighbor. The neighbor in question is journalist and author Joe McGinnis, who is writing a book on the possible future presidential candidate from a shack 10 feet from her home. To punish him, Todd, Sarah’s husband, has designed a 14-foot fence between their two properties. “It’s an invasion of my privacy,” claims a woman who has just invited 5 million Americans into her life and her home. Hello!

The rest of the show is a long advertisement for the vast tracts of forest and snowy peaks of Alaska, which are ultimately similar to Canada. Moreover, given her love of the outdoors and wilderness, Sarah is a little Canadian, except that she doesn’t know it and that is perfectly fine.

Regardless of whether she’s in her kitchen or at the top of a mountain, in flip-flops or dressed to go snowmobiling, Sarah is always done up as though she is about to go to the Viennese ball with the Mayor of Laval. She has the annoying habit of adorning every sentence with the word “cool.” The bear about to jump on her is cool. The aircraft that lands on her porch is cool. Her handyman husband is cool. But the coolest of all is the recreational vehicle in which the family occasionally drives around. The vehicle looks like Ozzy Osbourne’s tour bus, but Sarah presents it to us as though it were a small lawnmower.

Some take a walk in the afternoon. Sarah Palin, she crosses glaciers and discovers a new word: crevasse. Dazzled by the snow and distracted by the camera, Sarah almost falls into the crevasse of the Ruth glacier. I confess that for a brief moment, I wished that the crevasse would swallow her up and make her disappear forever.

However, I changed my mind after learning that Ruth is less dangerous than Lisa Murkowski, the new Alaskan senator. The day after her overwhelming victory, Lisa said that Sarah didn’t have the leadership qualities or the intellectual curiosity to become president. She certainly won’t be invited into the same grizzly party.

Tomorrow night, Sarah will teach Bristol how to shoot a rifle. Let’s hope that Steven Cowan leaves to play bingo; if not, his new television might get a taste.