Jealous of Boston

We in the Caucasus are watching all that is happening in Boston, and we are jealous. Yes, jealous. Explosions, casualties, blood. It is a nightmare there. But the entire world is horrified by what happened in Boston and sympathizes with the victims. It’s been a long time since our explosions have horrified anyone, and occasionally they aren’t even reported. Fellow citizens, not looking up from their dinner when they hear reports of terrorist attacks in the southern border regions, think: “Oh, some Caucasians are destroying themselves.” And they indifferently change the channel.

After the explosions, the entire police force of several of Boston’s neighboring cities combed the area inch by inch and found the terrorists. For us it goes something like this: Someone, somewhere, sits down. We haul over there in a tank and, as a rule of thumb, shoot at homes. Who suffers? Whose years of work go up in smoke? Law enforcement agencies don’t care.

Once, my husband went to his friend’s house and found himself in the middle of a special forces operation. The area had been evacuated and totally bombarded — there wasn’t a single intact window along the entire street. They didn’t find any rebels. When the residents returned home, they found that all of their money, video cameras, fur coats, etc. had disappeared. The question arises: What was the purpose of the raid? If someone is killed, then he is immediately declared to be a rebel. Their mission isn’t to catch the rebel using any means, to interrogate him, bust the network, etc. Instead, tank, bang, death. Or ordinary thievery.

We envy the Bostonian victims, who won’t be left in their misfortune. The president immediately promised them that help will be available for all and that the guilty will be found and punished. And that is what they’ll do. We can only shrug our shoulders. The presidents in our small republics don’t even say the words anymore.

We envy their TV reporters and TV on the whole. Viewers aren’t treated like idiots: They are shown and told everything. The police know this and behave in an exemplary fashion. The authorities know this and behave in an exemplary fashion.

Within 24 hours reporters had made contact with all of the suspects’ relatives and had made intelligence agencies answer questions. Our reporters practice only on footballers’ wives, exposing how a reality show competition was just a fraud. This is our country’s main problem, right?

We just don’t understand these Tsarnaev brothers. Are they complete idiots? By the way, we also envy them: There’s no coming back for Tamerlan, who died after being run over by his brother Dzhokhar. Dzhokhar will be provided with any assistance that has been stipulated by law. It won’t prevent him from getting his fair punishment, but this kind of good hasn’t been seen in the Caucasus for 20 years, and here they no longer even believe in its existence.

The only ones who aren’t envied by people in the Caucasus are the Chechens. Reputation is not a meaningless word. You might never have stolen a horse, but if you are Roma, you’ll be known as a horse thief. My Jewish friends can’t stand the sound of German. They understand that today’s Germans aren’t guilty of any Holocaust, but they can’t change how they feel. As for how Arabs relate to Jews — it’s better not to talk about it. These are the labels that permanently cling to ethnic groups. As much as you would say that terrorism has no single nationality, in the minds of Russians, it does.

Now, Americans will also think this way. Decent, normal, intelligent and educated Chechens — there are many more of them than the wily, incompetent, stupid bribe-takers and simple dolts. We don’t envy you: The Tsarnaevs have hammered another nail into the coffin of your reputation.