The United States’ Fascist Hare

I suppose that by conditioned reflex, one can understand the fixations and associations that take place in the mind. At least that’s how I’d like to think it is when I hear a name, and out of habit, I associate it with someone I know. For me, “Donald” is associated with an individual of the Anatidae family; someone poor, dressed as a sailor, a bad example to three identical nephews, permanently in love with another duck, and who has an uncle whose greatest pleasure consists of a morning bath in a tub full of coins.*

This is the Donald that children of my generation typically knew and delighted in watching his cartoon misadventures. This isn’t the Donald I’m talking about in this column. There’s another, who isn’t a duck, who looks more like a ruddy hare with thinning, carrot-colored fur. He’s a foul-mouthed millionaire, a very gringo version of Mussolini, but with stars and stripes.

This bad man—misogynistic, racist and prehistoric—doesn’t appear in comic books and has nothing to do with fiction. He’s so human it’s scary. He has fanatical, rowdy supporters, the majority of whom are rich, white cheaters who bet that their candidate will be the next president of the United States of America. On this subject, Trump, without any shame or modesty, assured us that, “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose any voters.” This Republican promises that his administration will build a border wall similar to the Great Wall of China to block the entry of Mexicans and other immigrants into his country. Those of foreign nationality or ethnicity who are already inside will pay the wall’s price by later being deported to their places of origin, all under the reasoning that, “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best … They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists.” What’s more, these individuals speak Spanish, not English, as Trump points to as unobjectionable and a reason for their removal.

So, without the presence of those people, all bad behavior will end everywhere in the union; it will be a return to the idyllic white paradise of Eden, each person in his or her place as nature intended. In this new nirvana, “gross, fat, bitchy, redneck, animal”* women will not be allowed. The celebrated journalist Megyn Kelly, once protested the candidate’s discriminatory and inappropriate language, but she got the biggest surprise when he replied that her interviews dripped blood, just like she did every 28 calendar days. Don’t think that Latinos and unsightly women will be the only ones denied space under the American sky; Africans, Arabs and Asians will also be excluded and advised to go home as soon as they step foot on liberty’s ground.

As with all megalomaniac fascists, Trump believes himself to be essential, and a winner. His last name says so. Without any objection, he asserts that the American people are eager for a leader with a successful track record. It is possible, I’m afraid, that one of his ambitions is, with the consent of the International Olympics Committee, to eliminate the target shooting event, and instead include the “Black and Latino shooting” event, a specialty in which the U.S. police already have a substantial record.

*Editor’s note: The Anatidae are the biological family of birds that includes ducks, geese and swans.

**Editor’s note: This quote, while accurately translated, could not be independently verified.