Stories from the Grave
Great, greater, greatest. For Trump, the only way to be greater than Christian is to emulate Christ himself. The political whisperer on self-promotion in the White House.
The politics whisperer approached eerily in dim candlelight and spoke quietly into his ear: Donald Trump is the beginning. Trump rests with God, and Trump is God himself. Or His son. Donald Jesus Trump. The Redeemer. The Savior. The Oval Office becomes a shared prayer bench at the Last Supper. A nation of believers lies at his feet. With them, he says, he wants to lead a crusade against atheists, globalists and Marxists.
Pope Leo XIV gazes reproachingly at Washington, and the orange-skinned blondie stares back. The Catholics are appalled; the Christians are bewildered. Little Blonde Riding Hood is not actually Catholic. Instead, he was raised in the Presbyterian Church — in other words, in the church of priests (presbyters). There, one pays homage only to Christ himself. The pontiff: insignificant. Before the election, the Bible was beaten a few times to keep Christians happy. In 2019, JD Vance suddenly discovered that he was a Catholic. And after Trump survived the assassination attempt, it occurred to many Americans that he must be the savior, the one who was unjustly condemned.
For years, leading European politicians crawled on their knees into the White House like the Magi at Canossa,*bringing more gifts than the Three Wise Men. And then, while countless people, for various reasons, would have preferred to crucify Trump immediately, Trump posted an AI-generated image of himself as a savior. Surprisingly, the divine trump card backfired. Some even briefly saw in it the Antichrist. It also didn’t help that crash-course Catholic Vance then wanted to give the Pope a quick theology lesson: the defense secretary quoted a fake Bible verse from “Pulp Fiction.” Accusations of blasphemy came flying faster than a doctor’s jacket. Samaritan, imposter, pope, Caligula: In his boundless egomania, Trump can do anything. He’s building palaces and triumphal arches around him threatening to wipe out entire civilizations. The candlelight went out, and the story of the political whisperer was over. Or was it real after all?
*Editor's note: Canossa was a castle where, in 1077, then Pope Gregory VII met with King Henry IV. Since that time, the name has come to be associated with the concept of secular powers submitting to the church.
The politics whisperer approached eerily in dim candlelight and spoke quietly into his ear: Donald Trump is the beginning. Trump rests with God, and Trump is God himself. Or His son. Donald Jesus Trump. The Redeemer. The Savior. The Oval Office becomes a shared prayer bench at the Last Supper. A nation of believers lies at his feet. With them, he says, he wants to lead a crusade against atheists, globalists and Marxists.
Pope Leo XIV gazes reproachingly at Washington, and the orange-skinned blondie stares back. The Catholics are appalled; the Christians are bewildered. Little Blonde Riding Hood is not actually Catholic. Instead, he was raised in the Presbyterian Church — in other words, in the church of priests (presbyters). There, one pays homage only to Christ himself. The pontiff: insignificant. Before the election, the Bible was beaten a few times to keep Christians happy. In 2019, JD Vance suddenly discovered that he was a Catholic. And after Trump survived the assassination attempt, it occurred to many Americans that he must be the savior, the one who was unjustly condemned.
For years, leading European politicians crawled on their knees into the White House like the Magi at Canossa,*bringing more gifts than the Three Wise Men. And then, while countless people, for various reasons, would have preferred to crucify Trump immediately, Trump posted an AI-generated image of himself as a savior. Surprisingly, the divine trump card backfired. Some even briefly saw in it the Antichrist. It also didn’t help that crash-course Catholic Vance then wanted to give the Pope a quick theology lesson: the defense secretary quoted a fake Bible verse from “Pulp Fiction.” Accusations of blasphemy came flying faster than a doctor’s jacket. Samaritan, imposter, pope, Caligula: In his boundless egomania, Trump can do anything. He’s building palaces and triumphal arches around him threatening to wipe out entire civilizations. The candlelight went out, and the story of the political whisperer was over. Or was it real after all?
*Editor's note: Canossa was a castle where, in 1077, then Pope Gregory VII met with King Henry IV. Since that time, the name has come to be associated with the concept of secular powers submitting to the church.
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