Trump 2012: The End of the World

No one better represents the worst of New York than Donald Trump. The vanity and greed, the petulance and flatulence, the aggressiveness and arrogance, the egocentricity and megalomania converge in this circus character, who is filling the city with phallic prolongations of himself and who now has proposed precipitating the prophecy of the Mayan calendar.

Trump 2012: The End of the World

“I am Obama’s worst nightmare,” declares the incomparable master of self-promotion, converted into a disheveled agitator of the tea party. “They are very concerned because I am challenging him as to whether or not he was born in this country, where there is a real doubt.”

Trump asserts that Obama wasn’t born in Hawaii but in Kenya, that his African grandmother saw him be born, that his authentic birth certificate is still missing and that we could be facing “the greatest scam in the history of the United States.”

Trump 2012: Every Man for Himself

Farce after farce, The Donald has climbed to number two among the Republican candidates, tickling and stealing the cover of the tabloids from his friend, Charlie Sheen (who recently stayed in the Trump International Hotel, which sparked speculations about his candidacy for vice president).

Trump took advantage of the “shocked” Sarah Palin and knew how to anticipate the intrepid Michele Bachmann, another woman seeking to capitalize on the anger of the ultraconservative masses, desperately looking for leaders who will restore the respect that has been lost to America in the world.

Trump/Sheen 2012: Lethal Combination

The fact is that the White House has added itself to the presidential charade. After ignoring for several weeks the improprieties of Trump, Obama’s adviser David Plouffe answered the affront and declared to the news chain ABC: “There is zero chance that Donald Trump would ever be hired by the American people.”

To the question of his meteoric rise in the polls, Plouffe responded without holding back: “Given his behavior and spectacle the last couple of weeks, I hope he keeps on rising. … That’s not leadership, that’s kind of sideshow behavior.”

Trump 2012: The Apocalypse is Near

It would not be the first time that Trump disappoints expectations. Already in 2011, after overcoming midlife crisis and ruin, he threatened to present himself as a third-party candidate. He became Republican, and then Democrat, and then Republican again. He feigned a candidacy for governor of New York in 2006 and for the presidency in 2008. And meanwhile, he promised to reconstruct the Twin Towers and founded Trump University (a fantasy).

The only thing that cannot be denied is that all this time, there was his success as the unscrupulous impresario on the reality show, “The Apprentice.” With a phrase that will accompany him to the grave — “You’re fired!” — he made his way in the world of shows, even achieving his own star on Hollywood Boulevard. He wrote various “bestsellers” about himself — “Trump: Think Like a Billionaire,” “Trump: Think Big,” “Trump: Never Give Up” — and filled the city with cloned towers like the one that obscured the building at the United Nations or the one that he built despite the opposition of all the neighbors in Soho (and which now stands half-empty).

Trump 2012: The America that We Deserve

His casinos in Atlantic City capsized, but with Melania at his side (after his notorious divorces with Ivana and Marla), everything is turning out to be possible as he is turning 60. “By now my name is big enough and equated with the gold standard to the extent that I don’t have to say too much about it.”

His hair, he assures us, is authentic. In any case he tweaks it with a fixer or with a few golden highlights to hide the emerging silver. Earl Tempkin, better known as “Orky the Clown,” has heaped his praises and is ready to welcome Trump into the World Clown Association if he fails in his attempt to reach the White House. “With his hairstyle, he wouldn’t need a wig.”

Trump 2012: He who laughs last …