Sex Drives Republicans Crazy

What’s eating Michele Bachmann? She is the first Republican candidate to sign the “Marriage Vow” devised by an Iowa crackpot. This surrealist document, which is laid out in 14 points, each more incongruous than the last, uncompromisingly restricts sex life in America to heterosexual marriage. Everything from gay marriage to pornography is forbidden. This is a good opportunity for pornography advocate Larry Flint to make a semantic point about sexual vocabulary and for Bachmann to test her new philosophy. But will she do it at her own expense?

Don’t be fooled by appearances. This beautiful, radiant woman is a cure for free love. She may be the Republican candidate for 2012, with a plan for American sexual mores, created by reactionaries for reactionaries, if she is elected. Without qualms and without shame, less than a month ago she commented on sexual preferences, making an obvious judgment. When she was invited to Face the Nation, she said, “I am not running to be anyone’s judge.” Bingo! That has become a deviation, and the prohibition of same-sex marriage has become an important aspect of her plan, among others.

Since then, and in an atmosphere charged with salaciousness— such as the questionable incident with Democratic representative Anthony Weiner — our Minnesota candidate has found religion and rolled into the camp of the moral order for which she already had a fondness. This niche is dangerous enough that the other candidates — like Mitt Romney — have not dived into it.

The main points of the pledge, in addition to the prohibition of gay marriage — which New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg will celebrate at the end of July by joining two city employees — are the prohibition of flash divorce and pornography. A “little” side remark in a paragraph on slavery, which says that African American families were better off during times of slavery than today, was quickly removed from this shameful pledge; nevertheless, the damage remains.

Larry Flint, the paragon of pornography and owner of Hustler magazine, can’t believe it: For him, pornography is expression and slavery is a crime. They are not at all the same. Other journalists are drawing attention to the 2012 campaign priorities by reminding people that the economy and employment are the absolute priorities. Obviously these are not for Michele Bachmann, who did not say a word about them in her first speech in Iowa.