Deadly Rituals

Yes, the good old days! Imagine ourselves in the Middle Ages for a change. The archaic practice of vendetta had fortunately been done away with and was replaced by justice through court trial. Sure, it was still a little rough. Questioning the accused was often accomplished with the help of thumbscrews, hot pokers, the rack and other genteel instruments of torture. The inquisitors got quite creative with it, and the punishment meted out at the end of the ritual was highly diversified.

My history teacher took great pleasure in recounting the details of those rituals, as if he wished he had been there himself. The delinquents weren’t just executed. No, the process could be quite drawn out and prove genuinely painful. The criminal had to eventually pay a dear price, after all: The wheel, spikes and dismemberment were all business as usual, and burning at the stake was an especially popular vehicle for sending the candidates on their way to hell. The lucky ones had their heads separated from their bodies with a cleaver. Hanging by the neck was also more pleasant; short and sweet. From this, Mr. and Mrs. Average Citizen were supposed to learn the lesson of what happened to miscreants. After all, there wasn’t any television or Internet in those days, so such spectacles at least provided some amusement and diversion.

How do I know all this? I learned it at our museum of local history, where everything was depicted on nice little charts. It was lots of fun. Every once in a while, our teacher would do his Frederick the Great imitation—a real treat, but I digress. After World War II—which was scarcely covered because the teacher spent so much time on Frederick—the Europeans finally got the idea that torture and capital punishment were really unworthy of a modern state. Even the old Nazi judges changed their robes pretty quickly.

But the United States is finding it difficult to give up these rituals. Is it because of a “murder gene?” After all, they have five times as many murderers per 100,000 people as Germany has. Or is it because of social inequalities, as the sociologists think? No matter: The Americans recognize times have changed and are striving mightily to come up with more humane ways to execute people. Hanging and shooting are out—too old-fashioned. Edison’s electric chair was the latest rage for a long time: Flip the switch and bye-bye. Super practical and extra clean … in theory. Eyewitnesses began telling of slow and painful deaths where inmates burned, stuck to the electrodes after emptying their bowels.

Then how about lethal injection? Unfortunately, no improvement: Twice this year already, this supposedly clean procedure has been revealed as a horrible massacre. Clayton Darrell Lockett didn’t die from the lethal injection, but rather from a heart attack after suffering 43 minutes of death throes.

If his death is to serve any purpose whatsoever, hopefully it will be to prompt all states in America to do away with this archaic form of punishment. Who would have imagined that the number of criminal homicides would decrease in proportion to the decrease in executions? Hopefully, that will give many Americans pause to reflect. The good old days were yesterday; we must start thinking about tomorrow.