The Congregated South Wants To Leave the United States of America

Because they feel enslaved by the federal government and not represented by U.S. President Barack Obama, U.S. Republicans, neo-Nazis and Klansmen want to say goodbye to the Union.

The first black U.S. president is reelected; in theaters Steven Spielberg bows to Abraham Lincoln, the slaves’ liberator; and on January 1, Americans celebrate the 150th anniversary of the Emancipation Proclamation. All Americans? In every one of the 50 states, citizens are demanding their state’s release from the Union via petition. They feel enslaved by the federal government and want to leave — but without civil war.

They are not only Republicans, but also professed neo-Nazis and Klansmen who expressed their will to flee the union on the White House’s website “We the People,” established in 2011. Not incidentally, Texas, once the Republic of Texas (1836-1846), leads with a list of more than 100,000 people keen on secession; the congregated south follows.

Comedians who can be taken seriously, such as Alec Baldwin, encourage President Obama to not get in the way of the luck of the people wanting to break away. The rest of the Union would not only get rid of expensive net recipients of federal funds. Remaining would be—so Baldwin hopes—a confederation with liberal, undeceived citizens along with a congressional Democratic majority that would be secured for centuries.

Texas’ Capital Does Not Want to Go Along

Texas does not only have oil. With Rick Perry, the state has a governor who shows understanding for the resistance against the “presumptuous union.” Moreover, the state produces brilliant men even under the union’s yoke—like that sheriff who demands a higher budget in order to spearhead the armed resistance against Barack Obama’s UN blue helmets with his men.

But there is a problem. Austin, the Texan capital, does not want to go along. Apparently spoilt by a science-friendly climate and the most creative music scene in the U.S., 7,000 citizens of Austin have heretofore appealed to the president in a petition for the permission to stay in the union if Texas should secede. Besides, it would be impossible to constitute a nation with Austin’s weaklings.