Obama Became Little Red Riding Hood

Life throws a fairytale plot at the Democrats

Reliable TV sources revealed that John McCain dedicated his pre-election bus tour across Florida to Joe the Plumber, the collective victim of Obama’s upcoming “anti-popular regime.” The real Joe lives in Ohio. However, TV and quick-fabricating internet transformed him overnight into an element of folklore — something like our Medved, Ktulha, and Krevedko [Russian Internet personalities]. McCain won’t be able to pull out a victory without the help of mythical creatures.

Obama’s headquarters, on the other hand, ignores folklore, be it local or common to all mankind. Life throws obvious images right at them, but Obama’s staff members don’t see them. It’s immediately evident what kind of books others have read to them when they were children: Exodus, Minor and Major Prophets, the Gospel of Matthew…

A good PR professional can make even a shrill sneeze seem like a sign from above, and yet the Democrats did not capitalize on Obama’s grandmother. They did not squeeze out the situation’s maximum potential. It’s unheard of: a presidential candidate, who is ahead of his opponent, puts everything on hold for two days and flies to Hawaii to visit a sick old granny. To us, brought up surrounded by good fairy tales, it’s evident from childhood that only Little Red Riding Hood can go to grandmother’s house. Other characters have a different quest.

Little Red Riding Hood is the star of a dramatic story. Additionally, she embodies courage, sincerity, concern about social issues, and purity. Overall, she is the ideal portrait of an Oval Office candidate. So when we see Barack Obama walking down the stairs at the airport in Honolulu, we realize that it never occurred to any of Obama’s staff members to hand him a basket. We’re not even talking about pies, but at least a basket, or a grocery bag.

You may ask me: What does Little Red Riding Hood have to do with anything? First of all, there’s no forest. Second, there’s no wolf. Third, there are no hunters. Finally, Obama is a man, and Little Red Riding Hood is a young lady. Nothing matches!

There’s no doubt that Obama is a man. However, his campaign is built on refuting age-old stereotypes. If someone black can be president, why can’t a man be Little Red Riding Hood?

There’s no forest either, but there is the Pacific Ocean. And if someone thinks that it’s easier to carry a basket of food over oceanic spaces than through the forest thicket, I’d like to see them try it! However, this criticism is partially valid, and can once again be directed at Obama’s headquarters. Obama’s grandmother is 85 years old, and her health didn’t decline all of a sudden. The Democrats should have hurried up and acted in advance, and even prior to the beginning of election campaign transported the old lady to a comfortable sanatorium in any forest area (for example, Minnesota).

Furthermore, there is no wolf. That’s actually true. However, John McCain’s team includes Sarah Barracuda. And you must agree that at sea, it makes more sense to have a barracuda than a wolf. Of course, a sea wolf would have been more useful, but as we know, McCain served in aviation, and not in the fleet.

As for the hunters, that’s no problem at all. Where there’s a barracuda, there are fishing vessels. For such an occasion, even a poaching trawler can go somewhere near the Hawaiian Islands. All in all, there are plenty of ships in the Pacific Ocean! For example, the U.S. Navy has a nuclear-powered aircraft carrier: USS Ronald Reagan.

All of the above could be used to create a profitable comic book, cartoon, or a computer game. But the Democrats did not seize this opportunity, and that ship has sailed. Their boss is returning tomorrow. Of course, it’s too early to get upset. There are still two weeks left, and there are plenty of other tales besides Little Red Riding Hood. For example, Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves, Caliph Stork, the History of Little Mook, Dwarf Long-Nose, Puss in Boots, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. What’s important is not to get stuck on one thing. This applies to McCain as well. There are many other magical characters, in addition to Joe the Plumber, who would be willing to help him close the gap – all he has to do is reach out!