Splashes from Beyond the Ocean: The Terminator’s Diapers

Mark Twain said, “Politicians are like diapers; they need to be changed often and for the same reason.”

I approve of the real-life application of this metaphor — and not because I think all politicians are dirty, shameless objects of derision, but because politics is, after all, a form of service that should be limited to its “best-before” period. What can be more normal and predictable than the principle of rotation at the top?

Thus, Arnold Schwarzenegger had to pass his governor of California title on to his successor. Schwarzenegger first became governor in 2003. His coming into office was welcomed with great hopes and expectations that his movie-star charm would help this rich but messy state get back on track. Back then, he was elected to replace Gov. Gray Davis, who was recalled from office by means of a referendum. (Davis, in turn, had started his governor’s career as one of the most popular politicians, before his approval ratings collapsed.)

Alas, the expectations placed on Schwarzenegger for a cardinal change never came true. California had a catastrophic budget deficit back when he took over the governor’s post. It is more or less in the same state now. As a matter of fact, the Terminator tried extremely hard to increase the state’s income and lower its expenses. The fierce opposition from all sides and the unnecessarily complicated legal system of California, however, hindered his efforts. He made a long sequence of mistakes without being pressured, as well.

For example, the very first thing he did as governor was to cancel the planned increase of the car registration tax. The tax in question hadn’t stirred any reaction, until he made it into a problem citing his principles. That’s why no one really thanked him for the gesture. On the other hand, the state has been losing about $6 billion in annual income ever since. Then Schwarzenegger tried to establish a universal health insurance policy in California (which the locals consider equivalent to trying to establish “socialism”).

Success barely escaped him there, only to go to Obama a couple years later — but on the national level. Thus, what Arnold was left with was the necessity to raise taxes and limit the funds allocated to education and welfare. This got him into trouble with both Republicans and Democrats.

His approval rating went down from 70–80 percent seven years ago to about 20 percent at the end of 2010.

The actor-politician succeeded in realizing a few brilliant projects, too. First, California voted a global warming law stipulating that the state will reduce its carbon emissions to 1990 levels by the end of this decade. Also, the governor with astonishing biceps revolutionized the way voting areas are determined, making it harder to be reelected as a state lawmaker. Therefore, at least in California, the diapers will be changed more often.

Or maybe not? It’s a fact that Schwarzenegger is succeeded by the 72-year-old Jerry Brown, who was the governor of California once before, serving two terms from 1975 to 1983. Brown is, in fact, so ancient that his predecessor was Ronald Reagan himself, who in turn was preceded by Pat Brown, Jerry Brown’s father. These diapers have been washed many times, so to speak.

Brown undoubtedly has his lessons from the time he was the governor of California, but his freshest impressions are from the initial popularity and subsequent collapse of his predecessor. That’s why he keeps his mouth shut, unlike Schwarzenegger, who blabbered as if he were in a movie during his first days in office, promising everyone everything they wanted. Brown will probably act quietly, making use of many meetings, arrangements and negotiations. Rhetoric and boasting will give way to compliments and compromises — something that even the Terminator had come to terms with around the end of his term in office.

I bet Schwarzenegger is now considering how to actualize his most famous film quote, “I’ll be back.” Because whatever Mark Twain says, there is no politician who ever thinks it is time for him or her to be changed.