How Has Obama Become the Salesman of the Year?

After Obama’s re-election, gun stores were literally flooded by gun supporters who intended to stockpile supplies in case the president curbed access to their beloved machine guns during his second term.

“It’s beyond our wildest imagination. Since the day of the election, sales figures have gone through the roof and are soaring toward the sky,” said Jim and Joe Pruett, the owners of a gun store in Houston, Texas. “We haven’t been able to keep up with it.”

The Pruetts jokingly point out that Barack’s Obama picture, signed “The Salesman of the Year,” should hang in their store in the most honorable place.* As they explained to the Houston Chronicle, the proliferation of gun trade is the only element of the economic revival program that has been successfully implemented by Obama.

On average, the Pruetts make about $150,000 per month; however, in November 2008, when Obama was elected for the first time, their income rose to $550,000. November 2012 is still underway, but the brothers already know that the four year-old record is going to be broken.

The FBI, whose task is to check every buyer before they can take their much-longed-for gun home, was also caught off guard. The whole job usually does not take more than a few minutes: the seller gives them the costumer’s personal data and waits for confirmation that his client is not wanted, has not been convicted of a felony and has not been declared mentally unstable.

However, on the so-called “Black Friday,” a traditional sale day after Thanksgiving, 154,873 confirmations had to be performed, which resulted in two crashes of the computer system for, respectively, 14 and 18 minutes.

“We have to be ready for everything since we’ve got a European-style guy in the office of the president,” explains Larry Pratt, executive director of Gun Owners of America.

The naked fear of gun supporters is utterly irrational since in his first term Obama did not take any action whatsoever to limit their rights. Even the most tragic events, such as the summer bloodbath in a Denver cinema where a madman shot at the audience with a machine gun during a screening of the new Batman movie, did not sway the president’s stance. After every tragedy, Obama issues an identical statement that goes something along the lines of “Michelle and I are praying for the victims and their families.”

During the presidential campaign, the subject was brought up only once in a television debate between the candidates. Someone from the audience asked Barack Obama and Mitt Romney about assault rifles, such as Kalashnikovs, which are readily available in a slightly modified version: to shoot 30 bullets, you have to pull the trigger 30 times instead of keeping it pressed.

Republican Romney declared that traditional values have to be promoted at all costs since the majority of criminals come from broken homes, raised by single mothers.

“I share your belief that weapons that were designed for soldiers in war theaters don’t belong on our street,” asserted Democrat Obama. Then, he went on to discuss at length the necessity of youth education so that they would not be prone to violence.

The president is fully aware that any attack on the Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which protects the right of people to keep and bear arms, would be like flogging a dead horse. It is estimated that there are about 200 million privately owned firearms in the United States. Even if Obama chose to go against the current and fight the army of gun supporters, he would inevitably lose as they would be protected by the Republicans, who have the majority in the Congress.

Since 1998, the FBI has performed 155 million checks after call-ins from firearms dealers. However, in the case of private purchases, e.g. via the Internet, this procedure is not required. Private transactions are completely out of control.

*Editor’s Note: It was actually Larry Pratt, director of Gun Owners of America, who made this remark.