Harris Is Driving the Russians to Despair
Published in T-Online
(Germany) on 15 October 2024
by Wladimir Kaminer (link to original)
(Germany) on 15 October 2024
by Wladimir Kaminer (link to original)
Translated from
by Peter Carioca.
Edited by Patricia Simoni.
Kamala Harris or Donald Trump? Whoever wins the White House will have to contend with a Vladimir Putin who is set on chaos, says writer Vladimir Kaminer.
The TV debate between the two American presidential candidates was also broadcast in Russia with synchronized subtitles, and had more viewers than an ice hockey game. I read the comments, and the Russians despair of Kamala Harris' smile.
The smile of the White House candidate is slowly becoming her undoing. First, a Swiss newspaper accused her of not smiling authentically enough and hiding her insecurities. Then, all of a sudden, Russian President Vladimir Putin complimented her. "She laughs so expressively and infectiously that it means that everything is fine with her," said Putin, but he didn't imitate it.
With all the Botox that he must have injected himself, he can only grin carefully. "A person who smiles so well can't be a bad person,” Putin said, in response to the question of which American presidential candidate he would support. In times such as these, praise from Putin will not win you any points — and is clearly interference in the U.S. presidential election. Donald Trump thanked him right away for the small, supportive gesture.
But, in this case, Putin was actually telling the truth for once. He doesn't side with either of the candidates; he is interested in erasing America from the global political context, even if only for a while. Should Harris really win the election in November, her opponent will never accept defeat.
’Biden’ on Russian TV
This would bring the divided country to the brink of civil war; the new administration would have to do everything it could to avoid turmoil. It could be that America vanishes from the international stage for half a year and just looks after its own affairs. Neither of the candidates is Putin's friend; instead, it is American chaos that is Putin's buddy.
He would then want to use these six months to bring Ukraine to its knees, and the new American president, whether a man or a woman, would then have to negotiate with a winner rather than a loser. It is not about how contagiously you laugh, but when you do so, whoever laughs last, laughs best.
For Putin and all of Russia, the American politicians are like actors and comedians who need to deliver a good show: Russian TV has just produced an elaborate comedy series about Joe Biden called "Goodbye.” I can reveal that this show will surely not be shown in Germany. According to the script, the American president consults with the CIA about the magical resilience of the Russians.
The man in the White House doesn't understand why the Russians won’t give in despite sanctions and how they can even get by without American goods, without McDonald's or Hollywood. The plot of the series: It's Russia that is the richest and largest country in the world, with an incredibly strong economy, a wise leader and dumplings, which taste better than anything from McDonald's. So stupid.
Nothing Happens without Rubles
And so, in the course of the series, the U.S. president flies incognito to Russia to find out how to finally put an end to the Russians once and for all. He says this with an infectious laugh. The part of the American president is played by an actor who has only played villains and bandits before. He has been given huge American teeth for this role and laughs the whole time. When he arrives in Russia, the fake Biden gets drunk on vodka he was given by hospitable people, loses his papers and gets into trouble.
Nobody wants to believe that he is the American president. The rubles he has are all spent and dollars aren't usable, so he works at a school as an English teacher. Slowly, this version of Biden comes to understand how good-hearted the Russian people are, and even discovers a Russian soul inside himself. The film was financed by Gazprom Media, a company that lost almost 80% of its profits because of Putin's war. But the company isn't angry with Putin because of this. Once Russians laugh at Biden, then Gazprom may make a series about Harris or Trump.
Not all actors have left the country since the war began; a few have remained. Even some of the good ones, who weren't above some slapstick humor. The entire thing is reminiscent of the old Soviet joke about General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev and President Ronald Reagan meeting:
"We have absolute freedom of speech," says Reagan.
"We do, too," says Brezhnev.
"Here, anyone can venture out into the streets and shout that Reagan sucks,” says Reagan.
"We can do that, too!” Brezhnev replies.
Lots of Taboos
Russians aren't allowed to vote their presidents out of office. They can't insult them or question their cognitive abilities. But they can laugh at the American president, which is relaxing. American politics remain entertaining, offering plenty of material for soap operas. Americans also like to laugh at their presidents, or beat them up.
Currently, Harris is being vilified as a communist: Elon Musk has published an AI-generated image on X of her in a red uniform with a hammer and sickle. Musk said he was warning the U.S. of a communist dictatorship. This way, young Americans would learn what communism is. What Musk is suggesting is absurd: Communism isn't labor camps, not poverty and contempt for humanity, but instead a tax on the rich, a little positive discrimination — i.e., support for minorities — and additional investment in green technologies. If you put it that way, this “communism” is actually not so bad.
The TV debate between the two American presidential candidates was also broadcast in Russia with synchronized subtitles, and had more viewers than an ice hockey game. I read the comments, and the Russians despair of Kamala Harris' smile.
The smile of the White House candidate is slowly becoming her undoing. First, a Swiss newspaper accused her of not smiling authentically enough and hiding her insecurities. Then, all of a sudden, Russian President Vladimir Putin complimented her. "She laughs so expressively and infectiously that it means that everything is fine with her," said Putin, but he didn't imitate it.
With all the Botox that he must have injected himself, he can only grin carefully. "A person who smiles so well can't be a bad person,” Putin said, in response to the question of which American presidential candidate he would support. In times such as these, praise from Putin will not win you any points — and is clearly interference in the U.S. presidential election. Donald Trump thanked him right away for the small, supportive gesture.
But, in this case, Putin was actually telling the truth for once. He doesn't side with either of the candidates; he is interested in erasing America from the global political context, even if only for a while. Should Harris really win the election in November, her opponent will never accept defeat.
’Biden’ on Russian TV
This would bring the divided country to the brink of civil war; the new administration would have to do everything it could to avoid turmoil. It could be that America vanishes from the international stage for half a year and just looks after its own affairs. Neither of the candidates is Putin's friend; instead, it is American chaos that is Putin's buddy.
He would then want to use these six months to bring Ukraine to its knees, and the new American president, whether a man or a woman, would then have to negotiate with a winner rather than a loser. It is not about how contagiously you laugh, but when you do so, whoever laughs last, laughs best.
For Putin and all of Russia, the American politicians are like actors and comedians who need to deliver a good show: Russian TV has just produced an elaborate comedy series about Joe Biden called "Goodbye.” I can reveal that this show will surely not be shown in Germany. According to the script, the American president consults with the CIA about the magical resilience of the Russians.
The man in the White House doesn't understand why the Russians won’t give in despite sanctions and how they can even get by without American goods, without McDonald's or Hollywood. The plot of the series: It's Russia that is the richest and largest country in the world, with an incredibly strong economy, a wise leader and dumplings, which taste better than anything from McDonald's. So stupid.
Nothing Happens without Rubles
And so, in the course of the series, the U.S. president flies incognito to Russia to find out how to finally put an end to the Russians once and for all. He says this with an infectious laugh. The part of the American president is played by an actor who has only played villains and bandits before. He has been given huge American teeth for this role and laughs the whole time. When he arrives in Russia, the fake Biden gets drunk on vodka he was given by hospitable people, loses his papers and gets into trouble.
Nobody wants to believe that he is the American president. The rubles he has are all spent and dollars aren't usable, so he works at a school as an English teacher. Slowly, this version of Biden comes to understand how good-hearted the Russian people are, and even discovers a Russian soul inside himself. The film was financed by Gazprom Media, a company that lost almost 80% of its profits because of Putin's war. But the company isn't angry with Putin because of this. Once Russians laugh at Biden, then Gazprom may make a series about Harris or Trump.
Not all actors have left the country since the war began; a few have remained. Even some of the good ones, who weren't above some slapstick humor. The entire thing is reminiscent of the old Soviet joke about General Secretary Leonid Brezhnev and President Ronald Reagan meeting:
"We have absolute freedom of speech," says Reagan.
"We do, too," says Brezhnev.
"Here, anyone can venture out into the streets and shout that Reagan sucks,” says Reagan.
"We can do that, too!” Brezhnev replies.
Lots of Taboos
Russians aren't allowed to vote their presidents out of office. They can't insult them or question their cognitive abilities. But they can laugh at the American president, which is relaxing. American politics remain entertaining, offering plenty of material for soap operas. Americans also like to laugh at their presidents, or beat them up.
Currently, Harris is being vilified as a communist: Elon Musk has published an AI-generated image on X of her in a red uniform with a hammer and sickle. Musk said he was warning the U.S. of a communist dictatorship. This way, young Americans would learn what communism is. What Musk is suggesting is absurd: Communism isn't labor camps, not poverty and contempt for humanity, but instead a tax on the rich, a little positive discrimination — i.e., support for minorities — and additional investment in green technologies. If you put it that way, this “communism” is actually not so bad.
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