"Hi Mom, Will You Friend Me?" Parents and Children Friends on Facebook

“Friends” on Facebook with your own parents? Yes, but only up to a certain age. If for many the idea of sharing one’s virtual life with family is indispensable, for others it seems that is not the case, especially if one is at a certain phase in life. These findings are from the same social network that anonymously analyzed data from its users to understand how parents and their children communicate among themselves on their pages. Among the first questions that Facebook asked was “At what age are children more willing to ‘friend’ their own parents?” Apparently, the statistics accurately show the various phases of everyone’s life. Adolescents want to be in contact with their parents, the 20-somethings keep their distance and the 40-year-olds try to bring them back into their lives, perhaps in search of reference points.

The study speaks clearly: Between 13 and 17 years old, over 65 percent of children are the first to send a friend request. Around 20 years old this percentage drops drastically to 40 percent, and then around 40 years old the cases in which the children make the first step increase to 50 percent.

What They Say to Each Other

In this section, the studied samples from the social network represent children and parents of all ages. To understand how and what they write to each other, Facebook has gathered the posted comments in the past two months on Timeline of hundreds of thousands of users who speak English. In the findings, the parents are always very proud of their children, who in turn thank their parents for the positive comments, responding with phrases like “thanks for everything” or “thanks for always being there for me.” Grandchildren are also objects of frequent conversation, especially among mothers and their daughters. Terms used with more frequency in other languages are “madre,” “mami,” “papi,” “hija” (“mother,” “mom,” “dad,” and “daughter” in Spanish) and “anak” (“my son” in Tagalog).

How They Communicate

It seems that parents do not limit themselves to simply writing posts on the profiles of their own children. One of the most used ways of keeping in touch is to comment on photos, status updates and shared links. Once again, it is the adolescents who take the initiative. They are the ones to start the conversations. This is not the same for 20-year-old children: They are the ones who are contacted first. There is a big difference with daughters, who unlike male children comment with more pleasure on their parents’ publicized news.

Mamma’s Boy

The typical Italian stereotype seems to follow even international users of the social network: Everyday, parents write to their children to be careful. Mothers of male children especially do this. Fathers instead seem more inclined to talk about sports — the most used words in the conversations are “game,” “team” and “play” — and the more pragmatic issues of everyday life — work, cars and money — and do not disdain the use of profanity from time to time.

The Most Shared Videos

As stated by the head of the Facebook research team, sometimes feelings between parents and children are best expressed by song lyrics. The most shared videos from moms and dads are related to songs that talk about the relationships between parents and children. Among the most posted are “My Little Girl” by Tim McGraw and “In My Daughter’s Eyes” by Martina McBride, while children prefer songs like “Don’t Forget to Remember” by Carrie Underwood.